July 19, 2011

  • Only 11 Days Left...

    You may have noticed that my last entry was on June 26th; to me, that date feels like forever ago. I looked back at my recent entries, and it's obvious that I was feeling nothing but negativity. If I read my entries and felt nothing but sadness, then I have effectively blogged because June was nothing but negative thoughts. I had to deal with my girlfriend being in another country, I had to deal with my girlfriend being bit by a dog, I had to deal with my girlfriend being afraid of having the operation and making significant changes in her diet; essentially, I had to deal with giving my girlfriend emotional support when I could do nothing but speak words, make videos, poems, etc. I've honestly tried, but like cyber sex, it doesn't beat the real thing. If I could've been there, things would've been much different. Yes, my girlfriend would've still been worried about the operation, but she would know that I would be watching her like a hawk while they operated. If the plane tickets weren't so damn expensive and if I wasn't worried about buying a different car and selling my old one, I would've flew to Brazil before the operation to be with her. However, life doesn't always work out the way you want it to. However, life cut me some slack when I found out that the hospital she was going to attend had room phones so I was able to call my girlfriend and check up on things. 

    The operation was successful. My girlfriend experienced many pains and had a slow recovery, but she's slowly managed to do so. She's not 100% yet, but she's been having some trouble with her stitches and physical weakness, but nothing she couldn't really handle. My girlfriend has had to remain strong without my support. She's overcome many obstacles (and will continue to do so for the next 6 months), and I can't help but be proud of her.

    My girlfriend and I have talked a lot over the past (almost) two months since she's been gone. No, I haven't had the chance to webcam chat or even see many pictures, but that doesn't mean I'm not fortunate. I've hogged the phones by talking to my girlfriend for hours at a time, disabling people from calling up the people who live there permanently rather than temporarily, but I feel it's important to talk at LEAST once a day (whether it be on the internet and/or on the phone). Not sure if that's creepy behavior, but hearing my girlfriend's voice calms and reassures me that everything will be okay; and as far as I know, nothing bad has really happened since my girlfriend has been bit by the dog. She's had family drama and her mom has been annoying and pissing her off, but that's what mothers do...right? Mothers usually make good parents, but they sure are damn crazy.

    Point is that life hasn't been easy since my girlfriend left for Brazil. I ended up suffering the most with my lack of girlfriend, but she had other things to worry about that were more emphasized than me. For me, the pain was mostly psychological; for my girlfriend, the pain was mostly physical. Ever since my girlfriend's operation, I have been getting more sleep; however, I usually stay up pretty late. I started going to sleep around 1-2 AM, but now I fall asleep around 4-5 AM; can't say that I'm not always productive, though. I've managed to create a song for my girlfriend that I have on Youtube that is unlisted (meaning someone can only view the video when I provide the link), and I plan to play it for her when she gets back. For our third month anniversary, I've also managed to buy something over 100 bucks that I think she will find pretty significant. A couple days ago, I went to the mall by myself (yet again) and mostly looked around for jewelry that I thought might interest my girlfriend. I found a piece of jewelry for 169 dollars, but I consulted with many people and came to the conclusion that a gift like that would be best used later on in the relationship. I got pretty lucky when I searched on the internet and came across something that wasn't as expensive but still something potentially significant. Since I've also made a song for my girlfriend on my new acoustic guitar that I bought from Amazon for 100 bucks, that gift along with my song will make up for the two anniversaries that we've missed due to being in different countries. Our next anniversary is the 28th of July, but she'll be back by the 31st. Because I'm off work today (today being the 19th), I'm going to call my supervisor in the morning just to make sure I'll be able to get July 31st and August 1st off so I could spend some time with my girlfriend. One of the managers said that I shouldn't have a problem. I think my employees generally like me. Besides, I was recently off for 4 days (to some employees, they would consider that a vacation) and I just got off for two days recently. It's not so bad being off work; yes, I don't get paid and time is more slow without working but at least I can relax and think about how close I am to seeing my girlfriend again.

    The thought of seeing my girlfriend entering the baggage claim area warms my heart up like you wouldn't believe. The feeling reminds me of Christmas as a little child; not being able to sleep much but able to wake up with a smile on your face and the energy to run for miles. Running down stairs and seeing those loads of presents sitting by the Christmas tree is the kind of moment that I'm going to experience with my girlfriend. It is THAT moment that I believe I will feel the closest thing to true happiness that I will ever feel in my life. In fact, that whole morning will be. I plan to leave a couple hours earlier to get to the airport and WAIT for a couple hours simply to soak up the moment. Yes, I'm weird like that. I want to be able to sit down in a busy airport, listen to my Zune and contemplate on the fact that my girlfriend is on a plane heading straight back to me. I guess you could say that love is like a natural caffeine at certain points in time.

    I recently was able to record a 40 minute video blog that is strictly about my girlfriend and I if you're interested in knowing more about our relationship. I must warn you though, when I say 40 minutes...I mean 40 minutes. I had to split them up in 4 videos because Youtube won't allow that long of videos.

    http://youtu.be/cOzsRn-MxWs?hd=1

    If you don't wanna watch them, that's cool too. Basically, I'm really extremely happy. We've only got 11 days left and I know that it will be a breeze. Time is going by much quicker than in June so at least things are looking up. A lot of things are going to happen when she gets back, so I'll be pretty busy for several days after July 31st so I won't be able to blog about anything till later on.

    That's pretty much it for now.