November 17, 2011

  • Hi there!

    If I had to sum up these past three months with three words, this is what I'd say:

    I've been busy.

    For the most part, school has been a lack of concern for me because I've failed to do many online assignments in my beginning Spanish class, and I haven't exactly been participating in my CPR/First Aid and Environmental Science class as much as I should've. As a result, my grades have been suffering. How much? I'm not sure. I know that I will be struggling to make a B in Environmental Science. For Spanish, I've missed many of the assignments, but I have an A test/quiz average in the class. Since CPR/First-Aid is not a core class, it doesn't really count towards my GPA; even if it did matter, I'm not worried because I'm doing quite well in that class.

    I do good on the tests; however, if someone were to be in critical condition that needed my assistance before EMS arrived, that would probably be a different story. Then again, even if you DO know how to take care of a victim in certain situations, you may still freak out and not do anything at all.

    Am I concerned with school? Not really. Should I be? I should, but it's not life-threatening. Worse case scenario is that I get below a 3.0 GPA and my cumulative GPA drops below a 3.0. This would result in not receiving HOPE scholarship money, and I would end up either not making a profit from taking another semester of college, or I would owe the school a small amount of money that can be paid through student loans or even out of my own pocket. Basically, worse case scenario is that I just have to try harder next time. Some people learn from other people, while some people learn through their mistakes; once I realize that I've been messing my grades up, I'll get myself into a higher gear and concentrate on school more.

    As you can imagine, my girlfriend and I are still together. Our seventh month anniversary is on the 28th of November. I'd like to believe that our relationship has reached a stage where we no longer consider it a relationship, but preparation for marriage. We've talked about our future, and that's where some of our arguments have generated.

    My girlfriend is very independent; however, you don't really see that attribute until you've seen her angry or sad. She's the type of woman who can "take care of [her] damn self" and doesn't want anyone dragging her down. That is a problem for me because although my girlfriend has made my life much happier, it still didn't bring me close to what I wanted to major in school to get my degree. With her in the picture, I developed a dream of marrying her and having kids, but I didn't have dreams of what career I wanted to pursue in; you know, the kind of stuff that high school counselors tell you to take into consideration as you progress through until college. With no dreams, it is essentially "giving up" and, therefore, my girlfriend wouldn't live with a man that needed her complete support when your life should be your own responsibility.

    At first, I didn't agree with her; that is because I wanted to secure my future with my girlfriend through desperation by not worrying about getting a job and relying on my girlfriend for financial support until I were to get a job. Through a couple arguments, I've learned that my idea was fundamentally flawed, and therefore I needed to take action by recently doing ANOTHER career assessment test. The reason why my girlfriend suggested to take another one was because of the possibility that my answers may be different this time since I have changed; which is true. I have changed, not only psychologically, but physically as well.

    The last time I weighed myself was on Monday and I weighed 193 pounds. According to BMI, I am no longer considered "obese" but I'm now "over-weight." Before my girlfriend went off to Brazil, I weighed about 230 pounds. I lost some weight during those two months because I, essentially, didn't eat very much. Sure, I lost weight but that has resulted in malnutrition. After she got back, I went back on a regular eating pattern. I can't remember how much weight I lost, but it was a monumental step to getting to where I'm at now. When I started noticing this change, I started eating a little bit more healthy. I had more yogurt, more salad, and less portions. Oh, and water. Not only that, but I rarely eat during mornings and, therefore, result in eating twice a day. I'm not exactly losing weight 100% the healthy way, but I'm not doing it on purpose. As a result, my pants almost will fall off without a belt on, and my shirts feel more spacey. At the same time, my muscle is also turning into liquid due to lack of exercise. In the end, I'm getting to a healthy weight, but I'm losing muscle instead of fat. My girlfriend doesn't like it too much, but as someone who wished to be skinny than muscular, I don't really mind it at all. I can still work out, but I've been too busy to do anything lately.

    I work in the meat department at Kroger; not a great job, but a job that'll help get me some money to pay for things. Unfortunately, the money I make isn't enough to buy a used car right now, and I predict my car to break down anytime soon. As you can imagine, I've been setting up to pursue some kind of loan and some kind of used car to fit my transportation needs; I know that I should stay away from loans, but if someone is willing to offer me 5-6,000 dollars without an interest rate, let me know. Otherwise, I need to get a better car by applying for a loan. 

    The end of school is coming up; essentially, I am having to make a lot of plans, and don't have time for anything besides work, school, and my girlfriend. I haven't had time for games, and my family hardly ever sees me anymore for more than a day or two at a time.

    I guess that's a good thing, right?

    Despite being busy, I feel pretty good about myself and the things I must overcome in the future. It'll be a rough ride, but at least I have the inspiration to do such these days. I love you all and hope you're doing FANTASTIC.