Right now, I am watching the first Men in Black on TNT. Regardless of how many times I've seen this movie, it never fails to keep me occupied. It's a good movie because it introduces a different perspective on aliens. The philosophical question that people come up with is "are we really the only civilization that exists in the entire galaxy?" Our telescopes can only travel so far, but there are places that are places still yet to be discovered. Men in Black introduces a perspective that there are two civilizations living on Earth: Humans and aliens. Of course, I don't believe that aliens exist on Earth (or any planet for that matter), but Will Smith's job of hunting down bad aliens while getting paid by the government to kick ass would be a perfect job. You get paid to have fun, basically. And yes, I'm very bored. If I wasn't bored right now, I probably wouldn't even be at my house. As much as I'd hate to say it, it sucks to be alone doing the same shit everyday. I could've had a lot of money saved up, but I choose to live the lifestyle of chatting on the internet and playing video games. All I have to do to spice up my life is to buy a new video game that I've been waiting months for. Of course, it's only a temporary fulfillment.

Even though I'm bored, it's better than feeling other emotions that I've been dealing with for the past couple days. I'm really feeling a mixture of emotions; it's not just recent activities, but future activities as well. The real question is what am I going to do when I can no longer go to GPC? Universities are very expensive and I will have no money to myself (if I could afford it with financial aid and the HOPE scholarship). Not only do I have to change my lifestyle, but I have to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life.

Anyways, let's get off that subject.

I'm really excited about building my gaming PC. All my parts will be over here soon enough and I'll be busy from now and until school starts. Yay!

Before I left for Texas, my best friend kept talking about how much money I was going to earn working for his dad, and how I'd be able to buy a new computer with that amount of money. I was excited because it was a perfect opportunity for me to spend time with David and his new girlfriend, earn a lot of money, and get valuable job experience working with his dad. In all honesty, things didn't go quite as planned. There was a lot of drama during my visit in Texas: his girlfriend and him were constantly arguing, I spent more money than I earned on the stuff that we needed, and a lot of small things that eventually built up. We had good times going out and doing things, but it was stressful for me. I can't argue too much because my best friend, y' know, has bills to pay and a lot of pressure on him to make money so that he could make a living. Nonetheless, I'm not going to say that I had a bad time, but it was kind of stressful and things could've been different. Regardless of what happened, I was there to mainly spend time with my best friend.

During my visit, there's been a couple words spilled out that really questioned whether I should've gone or not. One time, I commented on David arguing with his girlfriend and someone said that they haven't really argued until I showed up. At that time, I didn't really know what to think of it. I kind of just dropped it because I really didn't feel responsible for their arguments because David was always the type of person to argue regardless of whether he's right or wrong. I could've been a factor, but I felt like it was more of using me as a scapegoat for their problems. I didn't want to explode the situation, so I just brushed the dirt off my shoulders & chest, and continued walking.

To make a long story short, I went home with 400 dollars less than what I came with. I spent a lot of money helping with groceries, restaurants, and I even payed David's first apartment bill. Supposedly, David's dad owed me 200 dollars, but the afternoon after I asked David if he could get the money for me, he never got it. I thought that was unnatural because David usually explains why the situation happened the way it did. At the time, I just thought that David had a lot going on, a lot of bills to pay, so I just kind of let it go and went back to Georgia expecting everything to be okay.

But apparently, things weren't okay. Apparently, our friendship was on the line. Ever since I left Georgia, has been mad at me. I wasn't sure of what was going on because we didn't really talk on the phone for a month. I just thought that we needed some time to ourselves. After a while, I started noticing that I was being ignored. This struck me as weird because David is not afraid of anyone; he will tell anything to your face regardless of whether it hurts you or not. I felt that if David had something to say to me, then he would've said it to me already and we would've talked about it, and came to an understanding. Our friendship was so strong because of that very reason -- we've had a lot of problems, but we've always been able to understand each other and move on with our lives.

But this time was different.

It became blantly obvious that David and his girlfriend were trying to avoid me. For the most part, they succeeded. At that point in time, I had no idea why they were avoiding me. I figured it was because I didn't put forth effort to call David sometimes, but I couldn't find out because I was ignored. I tried calling several times on his girlfriend's phone, and my phone call was always forwarded to voicemail. Then I tried contacting David through Xbox Live. Sure enough, he was on Modern Warfare 2. I sent him several party chats, I sent him a couple messages apologizing for whatever I did and that I just wanted him to talk to me. Regardless of the fact that I caught him online, he still ignored me and I was left with no response.

Over a short period of time, I grew frustrated that my best friend wouldn't put effort into talking about the problem that we were having. I assumed that he was just having a reason to defriend me, to justify his reason for not being my friend anymore. I was thinking about a lof of things. I became desperate and all I wanted was an answer. I told him that I wouldn't care if he didn't want to be my friend anymore, I'd just wanna know why he was pissed off at me.

Today was my last opportunity talk to David. He was on Modern Warfare 2, and I decided to sneak on and catch him in the server. After playing Forza Motorspots 3, I went offline and popped in my MW 2 CD. At first, I was unsuccessful getting in the server, but the second time I was in the server. I asked David why he was avoiding me, but Nick said that David had me muted. At that point, I became extremely pissed off.

I kept calling his girlfriend's phone -- I probably called it over 15 times. After that, I tried messaging David and getting him in a party so we could talk it over. No success. At that point, I was in tears almost. I sent David a message on Facebook saying that we've been best friends for a long time, and I'm sorry for whatever I did. Then, I deleted David off my friend's list and Xbox Live. I was helpless and I didn't know what else to do.

Finally, I was informed by Nick that David was mad at me because I was mean to his girlfriend. Nick informed that David already told me about me being mean to his girlfriend, which I was unaware of and never heard him say about being mean to girlfriend, and that he wanted me to apologize. So I did the last thing that I was going to do -- I called his girlfriend's phone one last time and spilled my heart out saying "I'm sorry for hurting you. I didn't intentionally try to hurt you. I sincerely apologize to both you and David. I just wanna move on, David is my best friend and I don't want him out of my life. So I just wanna solve this issue and I want David to call me."

As of right now, I have not heard from David. I don't know whether he's planning on calling me or not, but now that I know why he was upset, I will be able to move on with whatever decision that he decides to make. Regardless, I have been feeling kind of down today because of what's been going on. And I hope that David will call me, and we'll be able to talk it out and everything will be back to normal. If not, then what else can I do? It's all a matter of patience.

At least school is starting up and I got a bunch of computer parts coming in the mail and I'm excited about being productive...learning about how to build a computer. So worse case scenario is that David and I stop becoming friends (which is a very serious situation and will be very tough to deal with because I expected to move in with him after College and such), but I will be playing decent computer games and keeping my mind preoccupied with school work and focusing on my future.

So...we'll see how it goes.

Lately, my family have been experiencing problems ever since we got back from Florida. The main problem that we have is my grandmother. My grandmother is the type of person who believes that everyone is out to get her, no one appreciates her, and no one listens to what she says. To be honest, I can kind of understand why she would feel that way. She claims that she's not an alcoholic, but you can tell that she is psychologically depended on cheap wine. She buys that kind of stuff all the time. She is rarely in a good mood, and when she is in a good mood...we're probably celebrating someone's birthday and she's probably had a little bit too much to drink. What she doesn't realize is that her attitude doesn't help bring family closer to her. She's made threats to my dad and I several times and she even went out on a leg to tell her husband that she wished she had her own camper so she could live alone.

For a long time, I've wanted to justify her feelings. She's been working all her life, learned how to be a traditional mother, was a faithful wife, but when she told her own husband that she wished she lived alone...that lost a lot. And what's worse is that she blamed her feelings about her husband on us. She claims that I, specifically, don't do anything around the house. She expects me to water the plants, to build another story on the house, etc, on my own accord. However, whenever she asks me to do something around the house, or whatever, I don't hesitate. Now that I have an mp3 player, I can keep my mind occupied and do whatever she asks. The problem is that she hardly ever asks. She claims that she's going to kick my dad and I out of the house September 1st, but we will see how that goes.

In other news, my car has been having problems ever since I got back from Texas and it turns out that the water pump is bad. I asked the mechanic, that personally knows my grandparents from church, if the water pump was responsible for the hesitation and lack of horsepower, and he said that it "can". So I'm not quite sure if the water is the problem. But he said that if I keep putting water in the jug, I should be able to drive it to and from school. That's really all I care about. Uh...that's about it.

No...I bought my computer case and it will be coming in the mail sometime next week. Once I get the computer case, I'm going to assess what I need, and then start researching some components, and I should have my computer up in no time.

After being on a month long vacation, I felt kind of weird about going on another vacation to New Smyrna Beach. Regardless of taking a month away from my normal routine to spend time with my best friend in Texas, I was still pumped about going to Florida. I'm always pumped for Florida because it's always relaxing. It used to be nothing but spend time swimming in the pool and ocean. But after you learn some things about life and dealing with things that you really don't want to deal with, you learn to really appreciate every waking moment on vacation. As you'd might expect, I spent the majority of my time outside. Spending time outside is great and all, but I wasn't wearing protection -- sun protection. I haven't really taken suntan lotion very seriously ever since I was a little kid. I've had a couple bad experiences with getting sunburns, but it resulted in my skin becoming an acceptable tan. I'm considerably tanner than my sister, even though she's the one who lays out in the sun to purposely get a sun tan. Me? I spend the majority of my time in the ocean. It's great to unwind in the ocean because the waves are like punching bags that are never ending coming at you. Only instead of unleashing your anger, you have fun battling the waves. In the end, nature always wins. While we were in Florida, I was more concerned about the ocean current than the waves. The waves were decent, an off and on kind of thing, but the ocean current was pretty powerful. There's been reports that the ocean current has killed civilians over the past week. Florida advertises to the world that it's the "sunshine" state, but after the incidents that have been going on...you'll agree that it's sunny, but it in no way reflects Florida's population.

After an hour or so in the ocean, I decided to walk back to the pool to relax. In the ocean, I had no problem battling the ocean currents and getting pulverized by the waves; the ocean, in no way, makes me exhausted. The only way the ocean makes me exhausted is when I run from wave to wave, pretending to be a football player. You can't run in water...so that never works out. As I was walking towards the hotel, I watched a nice Dodge Ram pass by with massive tires and shiny red rims. I'm not a truck fan, to be honest, but I thought that truck looked good. In fact, I thought it looked so good that it must've belonged to some dude who likes to go shirtless in public because he's too self-confident, and he likes to do donuts and burnouts to impress his friends. I wasn't doubting that the truck maybe even made him feel more masculine than the other guys on the beach. What better way to show off your masculinity, right? The truck was easy to distinguish from the rest of the trucks I've seen, so I would know if the truck is on television or not.

Shortly after I arrived in the hotel room, I heard that a four year old was ran over by yours truly. It's kind of interesting, the story, because originally people said that the massive truck was being "wreckless". Later on, the story concluded that the four year old actually ran in front of the big truck. Because the truck was so big, he couldn't tell that he ran over the child until his father ordered him to stop the truck. The boy was barely alive, but he shortly died at the hospital. The father even went out of his way to say that he would damn well accuse the driver for killing his son, but he said that it wasn't the driver's fault. You don't run in front of any vehicle...especially a jacked-up Dodge Ram when the tire itself is twice your size.

It was an interesting story because I saw the truck. You never really know it's coming until it happens. The world is a dangerous place; you can only try to prevent so much from happening, but something bad always happens to the best of us. Ever since I saw several Crown Victoria police vehicles traveling across the sand with their sirens blurring, I started paying closer attention to the little children around me who were battling the under current. Yes, I kept my eye on them even though most of them prevented me from successfully boogeyboarding a wave. Oh well.

The vacation was pretty good, though. Ever since I've learned how to play Texas Hold'em, I've been interested to play with people in real life -- just to test my skills. Most of my family was all about luck games, which is fine, but I kind of want to play something that's actually strategic once in a while. My grandmother bought a really nice poker set (unofficial poker chips, a deck of cards, the rules), but I didn't have many people to play it with. I ended up teaching my family and their friends how to play poker. Eventually, I found a guy who knew a little bit about Poker and wanted to play. His name was Wes, a 22 year old. Just before we left Florida, I had a really nice conversation with him. We talked about personal things...like how he had a long-term girlfriend and such. Perhaps we talked on a personal level because we didn't have a whole lot of stuff to talk about. I confessed that I wanted to talk to him ever since I arrived at Florida, but him and I were both shy to make the initiative. Unfortunantely, he became a friend too late. Damn you shyness!

I ended up winning the game. During the first portion of the game, I was whipping ass because my sister was about to go out, and my dad was about to go out also (they would've lost all their chips and wouldn't be able to continue playing). My sister ended up stealing pretty much half my chips, but it didn't really matter in the end. We all bet our money on the last hand before we left for dinner, and I won by only a little.

During that same night, the worst thing happened during my vacation. As a big brother, I'm protective of my sister with good intentions. I really don't want to see her getting hurt. I understand how guy's are and for the most part, I don't question what she does in her free time. It's not my business to know about someone else's personal life that I only see every once in a while. I remember the last time I tried to control what my sister did, and she only grew pissed off and probably felt more reason to rebel against me. So I stopped trying. But when she's around me, I watch her. While we were swimming, this black guy snapped on his scuba goggles right in front of my sister. I couldn't tell how old he was; all I knew was that he went under water just about a foot away from my sister to check out her crotch area. He intentionally did it right in front of my sister. He kept edging close to her, as if he was going to make a move on her, but I interviened and threw a middle finger under the water. I was beyond pissed. My sister was forced to wrap a towel around her to avoid being sexually vilated by some random kid.

He went back to sit with his family, and my sister and I passed by him. I knew that he was going to check her out, regardless of the fact that I saw what he did and yet continued to do it. So I said "what are you looking at, faggot?" He didn't say anything. Of course, he stood up and checked her out some more when he was a mile away. I was waiting for him to make a move. I thought for a good thirty minutes on how I was going to bust his head open if he looked at her again like that. I understand guys, but he was clearly pissing women off by making them feel uncomfortable. What's worse is that the boyfriends weren't doing anything about it because they weren't aware that he was even staring. But I had my eyes locked on him the whole time. You can bet your ass that I was waiting. Unfortunantely for me, I didn't have the opportunity to whoop his ass because we were leaving Florida the next day anyways. I guess you could say that he got lucky because I was actually looking forward to fighting him.

The ride home was a bitch. Because my sister was sick, my dad and I took her driving turns for her. I ended up driving over 200 miles...which should be easy considering I've driven 800 something by myself before. For some reason, driving is exhausting with five people in the car and it's jam packed. We refused to let my grandfather drive because he would be putting our lives at risk. He's in worse condition than he thinks he is, because he drives carelessly. Sometimes, he isn't aware of what he's doing. To top it off, he occasionally drives talking on the telephone. His reaction time is very limited, and he isn't always focused on driving. Those combinations can have bad consequences. Just recently, he was in a car wreck. He pulled out in front of someone in his new 2009 Chevy Impala that he spent weeks trying to find and drove another couple or so minutes down the road unconscious. He ended up in the emergency room because he was still unconscious when the paramedics arrived. Now he has a 2010 Chevy Impala, and he already put a scratch on it when he parked my grandmother's car a little bit too close to his. The scary thing is not the fact that he hit a parked car, the scary thing is that he didn't even realize he hit it. What kind of daily driver would want a man like that driving on highways going over 60 miles an hour in a 2,000 pound car? Regardless of his condition, he insists on driving. If he wants to risk his life driving, that's up to him. But it's not just him who shares the road. Those people won't have the choice.

My grandmother isn't far behind. She's aware of what she's doing, but she isn't aware that she's a worse driver than she thinks she is. She thinks that she has the right to dictate and judge how we drive. Everything that you do right is wrong in her books. You get too close to a vehicle, she's holding on for dear life. You signal, but she tells you to signal next time because she wasn't capable of hearing the "TICK tick" sound coming from the dashboard. You drive 5-10 over the speed limit and she claims that you're going too fast, but yet she does the same thing. She even weaves through traffic and pulls sharper corners that even my dad would be proud of. I'm not too confident in my driving, but I've been doing a pretty good job at keeping a clean record. If I were to get into an an accident with someone, it'd have to be for a very good reason. If I'm not alert enough to drive, I just don't bother driving. Cause if you're not alert, you'll be plowing behind a Chevy Impala that pulled right in front of you without even realizing.

The best way to end a long day is to go home to a computer that barely works. I made the ultimate decision of reinstalling my computer because, well, I had no choice. My computer was missing the system32 file and I tried repairing Windows XP using the reinstallation CD, but apparently that made it even worse. Because I've started over, I haven't installed any video drivers yet because I'm testing on whether my motherboard is going bad...or it's the video card.

Or both. o.O

But the good news is that I'm home on good terms. Because my bed frame was snapped, I decided to get rid of the whole bed frame and just put the mattress on the floor. Tonight will be the first night that I'm sleeping low-rider style. I think I hear it calling my name.

Firstly...I know what you're going to say: where the fuck have you been Brandon? It's been four months since my last Xanga entry, and the only legitimate excuse that I have is that...my computer is breaking down. To my understanding, the main reason why my computer is breaking down is because my motherboard is failing. The motherboard plays a very important role in the future -- once it starts failing, everything else that is connected to the motherboard starts failing also. The biggest problem that I have with this sad truth is that my computer will go black in a short period of time. The screen will begin to shake, and you will eventually find yourself staring at an empty black screen. It's not a good feeling to be doing something important and your computer suddenly forces you to shut down the computer and leave it alone for certain periods of time. As you can imagine, I've been staying away from the daily things that I used to do on my computer by checking my e-mail, checking Facebook, making sure that I'm still signed up for my college classes, making sure that all my paperwork is filled out so I can receive the proper amount of money from financial aid. The reason why I'm so concerned about financial aid money right now is because I've decided to build my own computer. I've always thought about building my own computer, but I thought it was a really complex that only a technician could do. For 1,000 dollars...I could buy a really good computer that's already made, but the main reason why I want to build my own is so that I can learn about all the computer parts so that I can replace individual parts when they fail...like my motherboard. I also want a bigger computer tower, and I might as well just upgrade all of my parts and get exactly what I want in a desktop. Normally I wouldn't be serious, but I spent a good 15-20 minutes at the book store looking for that specific book on how to build a computer. Their search engine actually couldn't find the book that I needed, and even one of the employees went out of their way to say that they don't have the book that I needed. I looked through 4 complete shelves of nothing-but computer stuff and eventually I found the perfect book. Basically, it's building PCs For Dummies. Can't recall the real name though. After reading some of the author's stuff and watching a small portion of the DVD, I feel more optimistic.

 

The other reason why I haven't been updating my Xanga was because I was gone from Georgia for a month. On June 2nd, I flew up to Texas to see my best friend. The main reason why I bought a plane ticket to come and see him was because he had a business opportunity for me -- working with his dad. I was really excited because I felt that a lot of good things would come my way: I'd lose some weight (from the heat...which was pretty freakin' hot in Texas), I was going to make a bunch of money, and I was going to spend some quality time with my best friend in the process.

Well, things didn't go as near as planned.

 

I didn't lose any weight because I eventually started drinking large amounts of Coke. At one point, I was drinking nothing but water...but that slowly died. I did work a lot with David and his dad, but I also helped with groceries, helped David pay a bill, and spent money at restaurants and such. Ultimately, I would've saved more money by not going to Texas. Technically, David owes me 135 dollars and his dad still owes me 200 dollars. But...who knows if I'm gonna get that back anytime soon (or EVER). It's funny because David was getting me hyped up about working with him because he claimed that I was going to "be able to buy a computer" with the money that I earned. I came back with a 100 dollar bill...that was it. But I'm not really complaining; if the money was that big of a deal, I would've been pissed. I'm sure I'll get the money eventually, though.

 

Texas was interesting, though. David has a new girlfriend who is slightly younger than him. As his best friend, I don't see very many similarities between the two; however, David and I aren't all that similar either when you look at our personalities under the microscope. David is a Modern Warfare 2 kind of guy; I'm a Battlefield Bad Company 2 kind of guy. The list goes on and on about how much we actually differ. However, we're still best friends. David's girlfriend has some similarities between his ex-girlfriend...which...isn't a very good thing. David's girlfriend kind of manipulates David into getting what she wants. I guess you could consider that she's spoiled; but that's just the way that she was raised and she doesn't get to see her family very often. I can't really say that I don't blame her, but I know that David doesn't really like that type of girl. Ever since I was in Texas, they argued back and forth about every little thing possible. I kept telling David that they argue too much, but he just turns around and says that arguing is healthy for relationships. I think so too, but only to a certain extent. Of course, like his ex, they would settle it by having sex. I have told David what I thought of his girlfriend and what would have to change if they ever decided to take a step further in the relationship. If, at the end, they don't work out...it's going to be a "I told you so" experience. Regardless, I'm glad that David is finally starting to settle down. He has his own apartment and pays his own bills, so he's his own man -- I can't tell him what to do, just what I think would be best. But who knows!

 

In Texas, I spent the majority of my time working with David or relaxing. In reality, I didn't work as much as I expected because I was on vacation. I wasn't obligated to do anything. So if I chose not to work, I mostly didn't have too. There's been several times where I decided not to go because after watching David play hours of Modern Warfare 2 online until 10-12AM when we'd have to wake up at 4-6 in the morning, I got kind of tired. I got used to it after a while, waking up even without getting woken up by David...but I lost a lot of sleep. I can definitely say that I watch how much sleep I get now than when I did before I went to Texas. If we weren't relaxing, we were going bowling, going to the lake, etc. I met some very interesting people through David's girlfriend. We played games like Pictionary, and even some games on the Wii. We stayed at the hotel room and I slept on, quite possibly, the most comfortable couch bed I have ever slept on.

 

What's funny is that David's girlfriend tried hooking me up with her best friend. Her best friend is reasonably attractive, but she didn't have my type of personality, barely even liked my type of music, and worst of all...she's in love with David. I knew from the very start that she was attracted to David, and I confirmed it several times. If she was attracted to David, there was no way she was going to become attracted to me. So that never lasted, but it was funny nonetheless.

 

I got back on the 30th of June.

 

I got some pretty bad news, though. When I came back from June, my car was fucking up. I can't imagine how my dad says that he wasn't experiencing any problems with it when he drove it, but when I drove it...I could clearly say that there were problems. I even made the mistake of opening up the engine -- I was two seconds away from getting a speeding ticket. If I didn't slow down before I got over the hill, the cop that trailed me for three minutes probably would've given me a ticket. But he was probably moving spots because he felt like I knew where he was and just wanted to fuck with him. Which...I really didn't know he was there. Lol. But a messed up car is a no laughing matter. Let's just hope it's not a serious problem that could require some serious money. If it is, I'm screwed.

Now we're almost gonna have another vacation to Florida. I'm excited because now I have my Zune and an AC adapter to charge it. Even better, now I have contacts that aren't infested with pink eye bacteria. I had to get an eye exam to get them, but I think that it was worth it.

And that's pretty much it. I'll try and update as much as possible, but I won't be updating probably until I build my computer. We shall see.

Ever since my last entry, a lot of things have been going on. I turned 20 years old on March 24th. I guess every year we kind of look back at our past and think about everything that has added up to the present moment. We ask ourselves questions about what would've happened if the things we've said and done were different. What if I got my act together and I never called the cops on my mom? Would I still be living with her? Would I be playing soccer? Would I be attending my sister's university instead of attending Georgia Perimeter College? Would I look, dress, and act any differently than I do now?

The questions don't really matter, but it's interesting to think about. I guess it's just an important moment in your life where sometimes you gotta step outside the box and think about what you could improve on before you turn a year older. But that's the question: what HAVE I improved on?

I haven't improved on a significant amount of things. My attitude is a lot better than it used to. My dad and I don't get into arguments as much as we used to. My dad has "given up" trying to control me, but I've easily avoided arguments by remaining calm and collective. The anger is still there, don't get me wrong, but I'd like to believe that I taught myself some self-control. It's an improvement, possibly significant, but that's about the only thing that you can notice about me.

My weight has increased about 10 average pounds. I have the full opportunity of going to a nice gym, but I've lacked motivation lately because I've been stressed about school. Not only have I been lacking motivation to go to the gym, but I'm also lacking motivation to get started on my research papers. I don't know what it is, but I'm battling my lack of motivation. I have the full opportunity to buy myself a video game that I've been waiting for several months, but I promised myself that I'd buy it when school is over. Not only that, but I packed up my Xbox 360 not that long ago.

So I've been depressed about the research papers. I can't blame anyone but myself because I was well aware of the English research paper since the beginning of the class. However, I didn't know about my research paper in Sociology because she wanted to be nice and ask us when we would like to turn in the research paper. Most people compromised on the 29th...so I didn't bother explaining that I had another research paper to do. After all, I forgot about my research paper.

Lately, I've been realizing that I'm a really weird person. I'm perhaps too carefree. I have trouble remembering that I have research papers to do. I'll have feel good moments, and then all the sudden I'll remember that I have two research papers due on the 29th or so. I'm continuously surprising myself.

Lately has been pretty depressing because of the research papers. However, the research papers weren't the only problem.

Last Wednesday, my English class turned in the "life and times" essay. It was a very confusing essay, and I'm not exactly sure if I got the concept correctly. Basically, the teacher said that it was supposed to be an analysis and we were supposed to incorporate some significant details of the author's life within the essay. My essay ended up being 6 words more than the minimum requirement and three pages long.

I spoke with a couple classmates and they said, along with me, that they didn't really care what they got on the essay. The research paper is more important, and I just wanted to get the paper over and done with so I can focus on the more important things.

I honestly don't expect to get a B on my essay...HOPEFULLY between a 75-80. The problem I have with the teacher is that she's very strict on grammar and punctuation. Unlike any other teachers/professors I've had, she counts the most off grammar. Usually my essays are B material, but my current English teacher's...it's a struggle. I'm not saying she's not a good teacher...just strict.

Not many good things have happened lately besides my birthday. A few things here and there. Not only do I have to improve my performance in school, but I have to improve my performance at home. One day last week, I walked in my room and noticed a couple notes on my bed. This can't be good, I thought to myself. It turned out to be a note from my grandmother that said we (as in my dad and I) had till September 19th to move out of the house. After reading that note, I was beyond pissed. It wasn't just the fact that she was kicking me out, it's the fact that she said she was kicking me out and then telling me to clean my room and stuff. "If you're still going to kick me out, then it doesn't matter", I said to her. While talking to me, she was on the verge of tears and I kept asking "why are you crying..." She explained to me that I haven't been doing "enough around the house" and that they're both dieing, and that my dad has high blood sugar. Moving out isn't the problem because I already got a place lined up and a person who is more than happy to accept me, but my goal is to finish college before I move in with my best friend. That way, I can (hopefully) get a job in Texas doing something that I love to do, and be able to help my best friend with the house payments. If I get kicked out of the house now, then I'll have nothing to show for myself.

Last Wednesday was really funny though because my friend, Jesus, doesn't normally park next to my car unless he wanted to go to Subway. On Wednesday's, I didn't think Jesus has classes at my time, but I saw his Nissan Maxima next to mine. I stood there for a couple minutes noticing the major details: backset tinted windows, white paint, GPC parking sticker on the rear window, even a bra on the front. It looked exactly like his. So, I got in my car and rolled down the windows while my CD player turned on at 18 volume (let's just say that my speakers can't handle that high for long) listening to Tenacious D. As I started backing up, I saw Jesus rise up from the dead in his car lookin' like he just woke up. He had that facial expression of "who's this asshole with a loud ass car in a parking a deck?" Startled, I parked the car and started cracking up. The rumble of my car and Tenacious D woke my friend up from a nap. I was literally almost about to cry. I did have a few tears.

In other news, I got a 30 GB Zune and Bose earphones. The Bose earphones aren't what I thought they sounded like, plus there was an annoying buzzing sound, so I turned them back in. I'm gonna get a refund and probably buy some nice fitting earphones.

That's about it.

I had a decent weekend last weekend as far as I can remember. Nothing significant happened besides the fact that it was the last stretch before I started school again. I was kind of excited about going back to school -- I was going to get my Sociology test back, and I was going to spend some time in school and be productive. I like to be productive because, in all honesty, I really don't enjoy video games as much as I think I do. Don't get me wrong...I love video games. They've been a part of my life since I was a little kid. However, it's only temporary fulfillment. When I buy a new video game, it's like Christmas all over again. Eventually I get bored of that game and I buy another one (depending on how much money I have). Since I'm *kinda* watching my budget right now, I'm sticking with the stuff that I have.

Anyways, I like to be productive. Kind of spices up the life, you know what I'm sayin'?

Anyways, the weekend was decent until I did some research through my college website and found out that I had to do a regent's test last Monday. I completely forgot I signed up for it on March 15th! Not only did I sign up for it, but I decided to take the reading and writing test all in the same day. "No big deal..." I thought to myself. It's not like the regent's test is a test that you can actually study for. I started to start think more positive about the test and just wanted to get the test over with and not have to worry about it any longer.

On Monday, March 15th, I woke up kind of exhausted. I noted to myself that my eyes were oddly more red than usual, put on my contacts, and left for school. "I need to start sleeping more often" I thought to myself as I was driving down the road. The sun seemed awfully bright, but then when you've just been through another season of winter...I guess you'd probably the bright sun to kind of blind your eyes when you're driving. It wasn't anything serious because I was still driving fine, it's just that the sun was really bugging me.

I pulled into my usual parking spot at school, only I miscalculated my perception and actually ended up love tapping the cement wall with my left front bumper. You can hardly even tell I hit the wall, but it really bugged me for the whole day because I thought that something was wrong with me.

After my classes, I sat in my car for a little while before I headed to the library. I gazed in my rear view mirror, staring at myself directly, noticing that my eyes were still bloodshot red. "This is odd...." I said to myself as I looked at my eyes in detail. Were my eyes dry? Were they just irritated? What was going on? Since my eyes looked bad and I didn't really feel any different, I figured my eyes were just irritated for some odd reason and went on with my dad.

At 2:00 PM, I sat with a woman who had blond hair. She was decently attractive, definitely out of my league, but I felt that if I didn't say anything to her before the test would begin...it'd be awkward for the both of us. I establish conversation, cracked a few jokes, made her giggle a couple times. To be honest, I probably should've asked for her number, and I'll tell you that I have an excuse, but I really don't. I didn't want her number because asking for it didn't even cross my mind. Maybe it was "learned helplessness"...who knows.

I think I did decently well on the test...but we'll find out when I get the results (which I don't know how I'm going to receive them...so...this ought to be interesting lol).

On Tuesday, my eyes just did not feel right. They were still bloodshot red, and NOW I started actually feeling something weird. My eyes felt heavy, and something didn't feel right...and yet I STILL believe that I was "sleep deprived". I felt kind of miserable, to be honest, and I had no idea why. After I took my math test (and probably failed from my lack of studying), I stepped outside the building only to witness the brightest light I've ever experienced. Walking outside was like looking at the sun. I was temporarily blind, letting out a soft groan with my eyes closed shut and water forming from my tear ducts. Having trouble walking to the car, I was eager to get home because I knew that something was wrong with me and I needed to tell one of my family members.

Turns out I had pink eye. Since Sunday night.

Since I found out I had pink eye, I decided to not go to school on Wednesday, and I actually missed my math class on Thursday. I didn't feel so great, so I just didn't feel like going.

But besides that, the weather is good! Spent some time with my friends, and now they're already going back to college again. Nooo!

On Monday, March 1st, I went to school with a positive attitude. Although I knew that the week was going to be a tough week (considering it was the week before Spring Break), I felt pretty good about myself because I was prepared. My English paper was already typed up even before the weekend, so the only thing that I had to do was print up a hard copy of the paper and give it to my teacher on Monday morning. The analysis that I did on the play that I saw with my sister, "The Play About a Baby", was crucial to me because it would ultimately replace my first in-class essay grade of a 58. All I cared about was getting at LEAST a C and I would be content. The play was rather confusing, which made matters worse because how can you write about something that doesn't make sense? Better yet...how can you say that the play was good when it was confusing?

I went into class with a lot of enthusiasm -- I was ready to tackle the day. When my teacher stepped in the door, she asked for the papers and provided the students with a stapler. When I handed her my paper, she asked me if I put the paper in on Turnitin.com, and I completely forgot. "If you beat me home, I'll still accept your paper..." she said. During the class, my leg kept moving and I kept glancing at my watch. I planned on leaving at 9:30 and speeding back to my house because she didn't tell me how close she lived and I didn't want to take any chances. As I've said, the grade was important to me so I was basing off the assumption that she lives close by. At 9:30, I get ready to go and she gets ready to pass out our grades from last essay. I let out a groan and I sit back down and patiently wait for my grade.

On the essay, I got an 85. I was shocked and very happy, but I had what I needed and I bolted out the door.

Almost halfway towards my house, I go around a long corner where a Mercedes cuts in front of me. I apply the brakes more than usual. "Okay Brandon, it's going to be okay..." I said to myself while directly behind the Mercedes. Not only did the Mercedes cut in front of me, but they were going 30 miles an hour in a 35 mile zone. I lost my patience real fast, swerving in my lane within inches of the Mercedes...waiting till I had an available opportunity to safely illegally pass the car. When I saw a merging lane, I gunned the engine and drove past the Mercedes easily exceeding the speed limit.

What would normally take me 10-15 minutes to get to school, it took me 8-10 minutes instead. Because my computer has problems, it took me seven times to turn on my computer successfully -- then you had to wait for all the startup icons to load. It was a long process. Finally, I opened up Turnitin.com with every intention of uploading my essay so that she would count it.

I found out that I couldn't turn in my paper. The due date expired and I couldn't submit my paper in because I was late by three minutes. Did she get home THAT fast, I thought to myself. The only thing I could think of was e-mailing her and telling her that I got home just THREE minutes after the class normally ended and that I really apologize for not sending in the paper to Turnitin.com. Basically, it was a misunderstanding that I should've known but wasn't thinking very clearly after I finished my paper.

She e-mailed me back saying she's allowing me to resubmit my paper, and I responded by thanking her.

On Wednesday, I found out that I got an 88 on the essay that I just turned in, and so on my way out, I sincerely thanked her for giving me another opportunity. I was truly grateful. I thought I was screwed! I wrote the paper, I went to the play and took notes, I did everything EXCEPT the most important thing of doing papers these days. But I was given a second chance, which resulted in changing my first English paper grade from a 58 to an 88. A 30 grade different -- a whole three letter difference. Now I have two B essay grades and an F homework average, lol. But that's okay! I'm feeling more optimistic because I know that I can do B quality work in the class.

The next big thing was my World History test and Pre-Cal test on last Thursday. I was NOT looking forward to the both of them. Thursday would've went a lot smoother if I only had one test on Thursday, or at LEAST get rid of the Pre-Cal test and subsitute...a Sociology test or something like that. On Tuesday, my Math teacher explained to the class that we won't be having the test on Thursday, but she moved it to the day after we get back from Spring break...which still gives me Monday to study as well. In the end, that really worked out because I ended up spending over 10 hours on completing the study guide for World History and studying for the World History test. Well, I recently got back my grade and I beasted the test with a 100. I literally stayed up all night studying for the test and over half the day on my study guide. It was a LONG couple days, but it was all worth it in the end.

So I started spring break on a positive note. I did a lot better in English, and not only did I get an A on my World History test (which I expected a B), but I got every...single...question RIGHT. Not only that, but I also did good on the essay and short answer questions. The essay got me the most because it was a response to a question that I wasn't planned on studying. I was under the impression that you could choose what to write about, which you could do, but I expected to write about Alexander the Great and why he was so great in the beginning.

Now I've just been chillin. Everything is going GREAT right now, but I'll be back on track sometime this weekend.

That's all for now!

What's going on Xanga? I haven't done an entry in quite a while. I think that this is the longest I've ever went without doing an entry. But I'll just keep it simple and do a update on my life.

As far as the experience goes, school is going great. Because I'm not as shy as I used to be, I enjoy school. I enjoy school because I like to be around people and it helps me feel like I'm doing the right thing. Even though I don't have any big goals in life, I'm glad that I'm at least in college doing the basic classes. College brings nothing but good things to me; because I have no job, I'm not stressed for time. I have plenty of time to do homework, go to school, and get the recommended amount of sleep (but I never really get enough on weekdays).

As far as grades go, college has been interesting. Surprisingly enough, I'm doing really good in math. Like...the lowest grade that I've received, so far, is a 95 (on a test). And I'm glad that I have an A in that class because I was off to a REALLY good start. As for English...not so much. English, right now, is possibly my worst subject grade-wise. The first essay was in-class and totally demoralized my self-esteem. The fact that you only have a limited amount of time to do an essay really affects your performance. My in-class essay was shaded in gray after my teacher marked all my errors. She calls her corrections "love notes", obviously trying to make light of the situation. The problem is that my teacher is a perfectionist and germaphobic. Her grading is strict and she doesn't give you lee-way. In a way, it's nice to know everything that you're NOT good at on an essay, but getting a 58 on my first in-class essay was not a good experience.

I'm also not doing so hot in World History. I didn't study enough for the first test (which I got a 74). Most of the answers I got wrong I had the general idea, I just write down the wrong word.

That's all, folks.

These past couple weeks have been interesting to say the least.

Ever since I've gotten almost 3,000 dollars from working with my dad and financial aid for college, I've been spending it on small stuff -- whether I needed it or just wanted to buy it for no reason is debatable. Regardless, I've been spending money here and there.

The first thing that I bought with my mom was an Xbox Live webcam. This isn't absolutely necessary, but I'm starting to get really bored of my life and this will be an attempt to reignite the spark that keeps me going. I've had UNO on my Xbox 360 for a little while, but I don't like to play UNO to play with people -- I like to play UNO because I can do a whole bunch of weird shit on camera WHILE playing cards.

Back in the day, it was very common to play UNO online and go into a room occupied by three gay men that were masturbating on camera. Maybe not gay...but something is definitely fishy when you're masturbating on camera with two other dudes. I don't do anything bad like that. If you've ever seen The Chins video, that's pretty much what I like to do. I find it funny because I'm a loser. But this is just ONE of the things that are going to make my life a little bit more interesting. I'm trying very hard to watch what I buy, and I believe that it's absolutely necessary. I like human interaction and not just some talking on a microphone. And since I bought a keypad for my 360 controller, I thought...why not? Let's just have the whole deal!

The next thing that I bought was...a digital watch. I lost my fossil watch a while back and I'm guessing that I left it at my best friend's apartment. The fossil watch costed about 100 dollars, and I figured that if I was going to get something nice...I'd want to get something that could do more than just tell the time. So I bought a 136 dollar digital watch that is supposed to be super duty. Like, it's so ridiculous that if you fell 5 stories...you'd break every bone in your body except that watch ridiculous. Plus the battery relies on solar power and even the lights in your house, and can even auto synchronize the watch. I mean...it's a nice watch for 136 dollars. I think it's going to be totally worth it!

I've also bought a few video games here and there, but they're both under 30 bucks so it's no big deal.

But anyways, Laquisha and I are pretty much done. I sealed the deal not so long ago. But you want the juicy stuff, so I'm gonna feed it to you:

Laquisha and I have always been "romantically" involved and talking about this and that. Having phone sex was our little fling that we had back in the day -- she'd call me up being like "oh this and that" and getting a little bit crazy, and I used to enjoy that kind of stuff because I felt that I couldn't get anything better. In fact, the only reason why I liked Laquisha sexually was because I felt that she was the only one who liked me sexually back. Now that I've lost my virginity and realize that if I really wanted to have sex, I could find me a woman and have sex with her. Essentially, I'm too good for phone sex. What didn't make sense to me was that Laquisha was dating all these guys and telling me all these sexual stories, and at the end of the day...she'd always be dialing my phone number to have imaginary sex.

It didn't make sense! How could you desire having phone sex when you can get plenty of sex whenever and however you want it? Let's just say that losing my virginity really opened my eyes and exposed the truth.

Laquisha was just using me. In fact, she is much more of a pussy than I am. And I used to believe that I was the pussy for not having sex with Laquisha when I had the chance (when I was young), but now that we both have cars, we both have enough money, and that we both can make time to go see each other...there is absolutely no excuse as to why you would rather have phone sex instead of real sex.

I stepped my game up! I said that when she came to Georgia, I would drive up to her house so we could get it on. And ultimately, she changed her mind...which makes it the second time that it's happened. Either I'm not good enough for her, or she's too much of a pussy to do anything. In any case, she was leading me on. At first, she'd call me up and telling me all these things about what's gonna happen when I come see her, and then she turns around and says that it ain't gonna happen. She lead me to believe that she actually wasn't going to chicken out this time.

And even realizing that, I realized that she never calls me to talk to me. She calls me to express her desires, she wants to have phone sex, and she always calls me during the middle of the night. Because I'm the only one up? Far from it. She calls me because she has no one else to talk to. I'm her last resort.

Essentially, I had it with that woman. I said that if you don't want to have sex with me, then don't say that you do. If you want to be my friend, then start. Otherwise, get the fuck out of my life. And I said that I don't give a shit what you do because I'm not going to deal with being used.

...So now there's no woman in my life. Lol. It's not that I don't mind. Women are needs when it comes to procreation, but as far as relationships are concerns...they're just desires. To be honest, I believe that friends are more important than relationships because typically...friendships last longer because we communicate. Want to come over? Nah, I'm playing video games tonight. Straight forward honest answers that never offends me because I don't have to live my life thinking if my own friends are lieing to me. And when a woman isn't honest with you, you just gotta kick her to the curb. Fuck her...you don't need her, you're better than that! Damn straight I am!

On a positive note, my cousin is in jail...possibly will go to prison. As far as I know, if she's not going to prison...she'll be in jail for 10 years for committing an armed robbery. Yup. My own 18 year old cousin was in an armed robbery. Marijuana has been such a positive influence in her life </sarcasm>.

This portion of the entry will be in another private entry due to ranting content.

I'm really tired cause around 9:30 this morning, my grandfather called me and wanted me to move my great grandmother's oxygen tank so she could get some oxygen. After that, I went back to sleep. An hour later, my great grandmother comes in and asks if I can open up the garage door. At that point, I was like "ALL RIGHT. I'M UP!" But I can't complain. I should be able to go to sleep tonight.

But I went to Sport's Authority today and bought myself a mat to do pushups and sit ups on. I also bought a jump rope. I'm gonna start trying to get into the work out mood by doing small activities...nothing serious right now.

That concludes my entry.