December 5, 2012

  • Tired of Everything...

    I went to work at 3 PM. I was feelin' pretty good about everything because I went to bed a little bit early two nights ago and got 10 hours of sleep. I mowed the front lawn, since my grandmother asked me to, and I got out of class a little bit earlier than usual because it was only a review session. When I get to work, some parts of the shelves are practically empty. Immediately, I question why the shelves aren't full like they're supposed to be and I see our new co-worker walk around the corner. I figured since she's kind of new, she didn't know any better so I didn't jump to any conclusions or accuse anyone of anything. She told me that we didn't have any product to put out, so I checked the back cooler and found out that our cooler was practically empty. We have some fresh seafood, whole strip steaks, tenderloins, tyson chicken, and ham. Everything else we're out of. I knew that we were going to get a truck yesterday night, but it was only 3 in the afternoon -- I still had till 10 PM to worry about that shit. I didn't have any product to put out, so I reminded the managers that I have no product...so when they're walking by and notice empty shelves, they'll know exactly why it is. "I would fill it up if I could, but I have no product to put out," I told the new manager when I started my shift. I'm not all concerned about having empty shelves because I could care less about what product comes in and what product comes out -- that's not my responsibility because I don't do orders. I'm not paid 18 bucks an hour to do all kinds of shit. I'm paid about 7.45 and work part time -- I already do more than I should, so it's not like I'm doing my fair share. I'm definitely working like I have a 9 dollar an hour+ job, but what do you expect when you work at a grocery store? It's like I've allowed myself to be degraded. It's not the fact that we have no product to put out, it's the fact that people come by and want to buy something but are unable to do so. What ends up happening is that the meat department gets bad reviews, and that effects the over-all percentage of satisfaction from the store. The managers look at customer comments and whatnot, and they'll usually go with the customer's side of the story rather than the employee. We're supposed to have meat on the shelves, and there's hardly ever any exception. They'll say that the reason why we don't have product is because someone didn't order -- it could be the case. Like I said, I don't do orders so it's really not my problem in that aspect. But you know what else it does? I have to tell all my customers that I don't know what's going on, and that I'm sorry. I've been saying sorry all damn fucking day over something that was out of my control. My manager is probably going to come in tomorrow, wonder why the fuck the shelves are empty, and look at me weirdly for the rest of the day like there's something wrong with me. He probably already knows, but he's going to say that I could've cut this, I could've grinded that, I could've cubed this, I could've sliced that, I could've steamed that, I could've cleaned that, or anything else. And worst of all, he'll say that I got a bad attitude or something when I lay down the facts. If people accuse me of something, I'm gonna tell them the facts. People can say whatever they want about my anger issues or whatever, but I have a right to get angry and shit and just because I have a retort doesn't mean that I have uncontrollable urges. I'm angry because I wanted to complete a challenge that my store manager gave us, but I couldn't do it. How do you expect me to get a 5 star comment when we don't even have product to put out? The bottom line is that people want the product more than they want the customer service...it's the FUCKING REASON WHY THEY ARE THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE! If we don't have hamburger meat, people can't buy it. I could tell him all the information about it, recommend something else, change a price, give them a raincheck, but you know what is gonna happen? Absolutely nothing. They'll go to Publix practically next door and tell someone about their bad experience at Krogers because our shelves were practically empty. To a customer, I just wasn't doing my job...but I can't explain to a customer the situation, because no one gives a fuck about what I think. I hate my job so fucking much, but I work my ass off doing things that's not even my own job description to do, and I don't get any appreciation. But yesterday was fucking retarded.

    I had to deal with customers asking questions about...you know...why the fuck there's a big ass empty section of the meat department missing of product, and I was checking for expired products in the lunch meat. As I expected, I found a lot of expired products from October and November...which goes to show me that no one is doing markdowns or scan outs, so they're just leaving it on the shelf hoping someone will buy it. In my mind, I can't sell an expired product to a mother who is giving lunchables to her kid; I'm surprised we've been able to get away with that stuff for a while, because there's a lot of empty spaces in the lunch meat area. Of course, my manager might ask about that as well, and I'm just gonna try to remain factual as possible. I mean I could have the sweetest voice in responding and people would still assume that I'm having a bad attitude. People don't even know what a bad attitude is...I don't know if it's because they're fucking stupid, or they're just around perfect people. I don't know.

    So it's like...fuck it, right? I might as well be the only one to carry the team by looking for expired products since no one else will. Apparently, that's my job and I haven't been doing it when really it's everyone's responsibility. Fuck me, though. No one cares about what I think. Everything I say is pretty much dismissed because I apparently have an anger issue. I have no right to be angry at anything and express myself because I'm being totally irrational!

    No big deal. I just let it go. Besides, it killed an hour and I'd need to do all that I could so I could remain sane for the rest of the day. After that, I took all the black totes to the receiving area, and put another pallet in the area so I could put the remaining 50 totes scattered all over the fucking cooler on the pallet. No big deal because working in the cooler makes you warm. Sweat feels pretty good when you're in a cooler, fyi. No big deal.

    I take out the trash when the trash is heavy as shit when it gets dark. When I throw it into the dumpster, the trashbag breaks open and all the stuff inside spills out NEXT to the dumpster. We're not talking big things, we're talking like...fat trimmings of beef, fat trimmings of chicken, expired products, gloves, paper towels, etc. I'm picking that shit up with my bare hands even though I know for a fact that none of my co-workers would take responsibility and just walk away. It's always "let someone else take care of it" at my store. I'm fairly certain the receiving manager will comment to me about that or some shit, and which I'll remind them that it looked a lot worse when the entire trash bag spilled -- they're actually fortunate that I picked up the mess. But no one cares about what I think.

    After that, I just pretty much relaxed to calm down. I was pissed off about a lot of things, about the fact that I want to help my girlfriend anyway that I can but all of her problems are something out of my fucking control. I've been trying to brainstorm how I can help my girlfriend, but there's literally nothing I can do. Last night when I asked Kathleen about it, she started to cry and didn't want me to remind her about the situation...so I pretty much ruined her night by making sure everything is going according to the plan. Fuck me for being persistent in ONE THING, by trying to help my girlfriend be persistent in getting the shit she deserves. Everything else she's going through is stuff beyond my control. The only thing I can do is spend time with her which is great and all, but she's still gonna be upset that shit is going on in her life. I listen to her cry, I talk to her, do all the kinds of shit a real boyfriend should do but in the end...she's still suffering. So I got shit like that on my mind while being pissed off, which I piss myself off because I'm unable to provide for her the things she needs to feel better...which is fuckin' cool. So I'm super pissed, and 8:30 rolls around and the night manager says that I need to unload truck. I've never done it by myself, but I didn't think it would be so bad. Turns out the packing company who packed all the shit up did a horrible job because eggs were spilled EVERYWHERE. We had to put product on two different pallets, so it ended up being a total of 8 pallets I had to move BY MYSELF. I could've easily let the manager do it consider it's the manager's responsibility to unload the truck, but I'm a nice guy and a hard worker...and no one cares what I think. So fuck it. I do that shit, and it takes me until I close AND then 30 minutes extra that I probably won't be paid for over-time because, quite frankly, Krogers doesn't give a shit about me and no one cares about what I think. Oh, and I spilled some product here and there, but hey...it was disorganized in the beginning. I don't give a shit. Some people are going to go to work tomorrow unsatisfied with "whoever" did the truck last night, and I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut. I'll say I did, and leave it at that. It was the best thing that I could do, and that's it. Fuck it.

    I'm just tired of everything. I wanted to go over to Kathleen's place tomorrow, but she said no because she's gotta study. This is her final exam week, so I completely agreed with that. Instead, I'm gonna spend all day Thursday on a bench at the nearest lake. I haven't decided what I'm going to do, but I may just sit there and watch my life pass me by, because the only person who cares about what I think is myself...and I'll think all....fuckin...day. It's gonna be great!