For the past three or so days, Laquisha (that's not her real name) and I have been talking on the phone and texting quite a bit. She's my ex girlfriend from middle school, a significant person in my life because she was the first girl that I felt so strongly about. She claims that we've gone outfor several months, while I say that we've only been going out for five weeks.

I don't really recall why I've been saying five weeks all this time, but I feel that I'm most accurate because I've mostly kept track of how long my relationships have lasted. The reason being is because I don't have a very good track record when it comes to relationships. When I was in middle school, I was the very shy type and yet I was still popular. The only reason why I was popular was because I went out with the most popular chick in school who dated all the guys. She just happened to come across me during lunch.

I remember that day, strangely enough. I was eating my cafeteria pizza and a messenger came by and said that someone wanted to see me. That day, I pretty much became a cool kid.

That relationship only lasted three weeks. In fact, most of my relationships only lasted three weeks. I was "too nice", and it took me the longest time to understand why being "too nice" can be such a turn-off. But Laquisha stuck with me for more than five weeks. The only real reason why we broke up was because I was kicked out of the house and had no choice but to live with my dad. After that, Laquisha and I were pretty much done.

But it's safe to say that our relationship has been off and on. Before I lost my virginity, I was a desperate guy. I wanted vagina so bad, and Laquisha was my biggest chance at losing my virginity. At the time, I really wanted to lose my virginity, not necessarily just to get rid of it, but because Laquisha has been a good friend of mine for the longest time, I wanted to share something special with her. It was a win-win situation for the both of us -- I lose my virginity, I give her something special, and we have fun in the process.

For the longest time, after I moved away from Laquisha, we've been talking dirty over the phone (even though she usually had a boyfriend). At the time, I didn't really care because I was desperate and felt that I couldn't get anything better than that. Eventually, my chances of having sex with her were crushed, and she back stabbed me. I was devastated

But for the past three or so days, Laquisha and I have been talking again on good terms, but each night...she's been wanting to have phone sex with me.

My old self would instantly click and say "all right, let's do it", but after losing my virginity and having sex again (which isn't a significant amount of experience), I realize that I don't need to have phone sex. I flat out told her that I think that phone sex is stupid, and if you wanted to have sex with me...you either do it in real life, or you don't do it at all...cause I could get a booty call. It wouldn't be as satisfying as it would be with her, but it would get the job done.

And she absolutely hates that. She said that she'll be back in Georgia eventually, and I told her "we'll see what happens".

So I don't really have anything else to say besides I got my refund check yesterday Money in the bank!

Well, what's been going on Xanga? Been quite some time since my last entry. I can't say that I have a valid excuse for my lack of entries, but it's not JUST Xanga -- I've also lacked on doing Youtube videos. Altogether, I just haven't been in the mood for doing any sort of blog, really. Don't get me wrong, I've had the feeling of doing an entry since day one of my disappearance from the blog world, but I honestly didn't have much to talk about. Why do a blog when you have nothing to talk about?

But my lack of entries is inexcusable. I know that no one really cares because who's honestly going to read my Xanga? But having a Xanga for quite sometime has taught me that there's more to talk about than just what was originally intended to be talked about. It's just that I haven't been in the mood lately to do a Xanga. Simple as that.

I haven't felt depressed or anything like that; in fact, quite the contrary. I'm not depressed at all. I can't really pinpoint the psychological reasoning behind why I stop doing entries for quite sometime when I love to blog about my life. I guess people need breaks? It's safe to say that I don't blog as much as I used to. After all, I am in college and kind of starting to realize that my life is pretty boring without my friends (unless of course a new video game comes out that I just have to get.

Well, as you might notice...I uploaded some pictures of myself as a baby. The main reason why I uploaded my baby pictures is because people on Facebook just love to look at eachother's pictures...so I thought that it'd do me and my friends some good if I got to upload 80 something pictures of myself as a little child. Everyone wants to know what their friends looked like when they were young, right? Let's face it...kids are adorable! Are they not?

Well...sometimes.

But as I went through my pictures, I realized that so much has changed since I was a little child. As a little child, I was so sweet and innocent. I was sexually involved with someone at the age of six years old, and I was introduced to lesbian pornography at the age of eight. But...I was mostly a sweet and innocent little boy. No anger problems that I've heard of...I was just your average boy, I guess you could say.

 
At the time, I didn't really know what was going on. Life was perfect -- go to school, go play soccer, and then go to sleep. But you really can't expect someone at a young age to understand what they have until it's gone. Playing soccer was the second best thing that I happened in my life. I loved soccer, I was quite talented in soccer, and I had a lot going for me.

But in the year 2002, my years of soccer were over. If I didn't decide to quit, I could've moved up in the world. I had the shot of being on a traveling soccer team and playing with the big boys. The only reason why I quit was because the coach was a dick, and I just walked off the field in embarrassment. It was the longest walk I've ever taken in my life. As I was walking back to my mom's car, I looked beyond the distance and wondered if it was worth it to give up. I kept telling myself that it's no big deal and that I'd just join back in regular soccer and continue being just your average soccer player. But strangely enough, I never went back. Essentially, the coach represented life, and I turned my back from it and lost my chance.

And I still think to this day...what would I be like if I still played soccer? Would I have still quit soccer eventually? Would I be skinnier than I am now? Would I have been best friends with David? Would I still be living with my mom?

I honestly believe that if I didn't quit soccer, I wouldn't be where I'm at today. In my opinion, I believe that I would be a completely different person -- maybe in a good way, or maybe possible in a bad way. But I saw these pictures and I realized that I haven't done so well for myself. So, I've decided that it's time to start taking small steps to changing some habits. Some habits require more attention than others, but I'm just starting out small, and do I mean small. I've screwed up a few times already, but the only thing that we can do is pick ourselves up and keep moving on. Amirite?

In other news, I'm thinking about building my own PC. Why not? My computer is about to give out on me, so I think that it's time to look for some computer stuff and start assembling my computer.

Having a problem with anger issues, I know what it's like to carry a big burden on my shoulders. Having anger issues is probably my biggest imperfection because it has (literally) torn apart the relationship that my mom and I used to have. I wouldn't say that my mom and I used to be really close, but it's definitely agreeable to say that things have changed ever since that frightful night -- that night that was filled with a variety of emotions that almost put me on the verge of breaking down. Though I was still relatively young, I knew that what I have done couldn't have been reversed, and therefore the only thing that I could do was to keep myself under control and prevent myself from crying in front of my sister. On that night, I didn't really have the chance to cry because I felt like I didn't belong in the world -- the last thing that I deserved was attention or an acknowledgment of my existence. I didn't want to exist because I let my anger problems get the best of me. The invisible hand pressed against my back and told me that what I was doing was right. Perhaps it was the right at the time, but even at 19 years old and almost two years of a college education, I still cannot find a reason that justified my actions on that night. As her son, it wasn't our relationship that mostly changed, but it was also the invisible hammer's destruction that mended my personality that changed the most. I learned valuable things that night, for it was a dramatic experience that I will never forget.

And yet...regardless of the fact that I destroyed our mother-son relationship, I still have anger issues. For the most part, my personality is like an area of land that's filled with tall grass in the wildlife -- it's pleasant, perhaps soft to touch, but it's also an area of land that a lion can easily hide. And in the land of Brandon, you can never be too sure what's really in that tall grass.

And with that..I don't really have anything else to say! :S

I'm exhausted. For the past five days, I've been working with my dad on a temporary job. My grandmother always nags my dad about stepping up to the plate and getting a full-time job and such, but my dad just pretends that he's doing all he can to make money. My grandmother presented my dad an opportunity to make some cash through an old friend of hers that she knew since she was working for the IRS. My dad seized the opportunity, and asked me to tag along and help him with the job. Unfortunately, I agreed to help my dad out with the job not fully understanding what the job description was. At this point, the only reason why I agreed was to make some money...and because my dad put me in the spotlight and I would feel guilty if I said no. Who likes being in those situations where a question is asked by your parents where you'll regret your answer. If I said yes, I might've been doing a job that would take a lot of time and energy that I may or may not have. If I said no, my dad would be disappointed and have yet another excuse to start yelling at me at random times for no reason. Saying no would  prove to my dad that I'm just not very respectful. It's a win-lose situation.

Not only did I agree, but I had to fully agree and stand by that agreement because once my dad signed me up, there was no turning back.

Ever since that day, I've been worrying how it's all going to turn out. What's going to happen? What if I don't work hard enough? Will it be easier than I expected?

Finally, the day came...and it...sucked...straight up asshole.

Our job description was pretty simple to understand: build Jackson Hewitt kiosks in specified Wal-Mart stores. The good thing was that I didn't have to deal with customers, and since I was helping my dad build kiosks... I didn't have to worry about wearing a uniform, working near a freezer area, or even wearing a name-tag. If I forgot my name-tag, I wouldn't even sweat it because it wouldn't even be a big deal. But that's the only thing good about the job.

Here's how it all went down:
• Probably about 11 out of 12 stores, my dad and I had to wake up early. Waking up early isn't so bad, but waking up early to go drive a certain amount of miles to do a strenuous job sucks ass. The drive is so boring because that whole time, you're dreading working because you know it's going to tire you out. The only problem was we haven't worked on kiosks before, so we didn't really know what to expect.
• Like a lot of things, starting is probably the hardest part. First, we probably 80% of the time had to find our own stuff in the back of Wal-Mart stores (which Wal-Marts are pretty dang huge when you have to walk up and down), and it might even be filled with stuff that was put on by lazy Wal-Mart employees. It's a tough job to cut boxes open and pull the equipment out to build the kiosks.

I could get very specific, but I'm hungry so I need to finish this up.

Our first day, it took us 8 hours to build two kiosks. After that, we created a strategy and started to get the flow of things. Eventually, we didn't need directions because we were building the same kind of kiosk for almost every store.

Finally, the climax came. A whopping four stores ended in extreme exhaustion as we spent from 8 in the morning to 11:30 at night building kiosks. That's strenuous activity for the majority of the day.

So I haven't had any desire to go on the internet since I started working with my dad because we'd be getting home late, feet hurting like hell, and our bodies would be sore.

Finally, yesterday was our last day. In a couple weeks, I'll be getting 500 dollars for working five days. I can't say it wasn't worth it because it will pay for my college books.

The last thing I wanna talk about is something that's a new experience that I just gotta talk about.

 
Mu' fucka Be-Randon got some glasses, son! I have another pair, but they're larger and I don't feel like uploading another picture.

I've never had glasses before, but I've kind of wanted them for a while because there's been occasions where I didn't want to put my contacts on for something that didn't really require contacts. For instance, my dad has a television that's kind of small and is all the way across his room. When my sister, my dad and I watch a movie, I have to put in my contacts to watch it. Then I usually take them right out. Sometimes I need to move someone's car, and I have to see where I'm going so I have to put my contacts on. Well, not anymore! They'll take some time to get used to because they feel REALLY weird, but I think I can manage.

Well, that's all for me.

I honestly feel like making a Youtube video right now, but it's kind of lame when you live with your parents and you can't really explain why you're talking to a camera. The only reason why I'm making another blog is because...well, I just feel obligated (I've came to the conclusion that obligated is my favorite word...obligated, obligated, obligated) to do SOMETHING with updating cyberspace with my life. Since making a Youtube video isn't possible right now, I came the conclusion to...ya guessed it, do a blog on my Xanga.

I haven't done a blog since Christmas, and I regretfully realize that I've kind of lost interest in Xanga. My Xanga is far too old to just push to the side and forget about, so I still do blogs...I just don't them very often. No big deal really....movin' on.

All right, so what's been going on?

Well, my family and I have been going to the "Funtime" bowling alley every New Year's Eve to celebrate New Years. It's always a fun occasion because we play bowling, and there's a few other games that we play (like Air Hockey...and maybe even Pinball) until Midnight. Life is much more simple when you already have it planned out.

We played like...three games, and I got 2nd place twice. 100 points without bumpers is pretty impressive, IMO. The first time I got third place. I feel that I could do a lot better if I get my form down, but we're just there to have fun and I wouldn't even care if I got last place (as long as actually make points, though).

Now, unlike a lot of people...I didn't make any "resolutions". I've made many throughout my life and came to the conclusion that they are meant to be broken. I have a resolution to make better resolutions next year, lol.

But what's awesome is that one of my good friends gave me a "club" for my car to put on my steering wheel. Now I don't have to worry as much to have my car stolen. It was a nice gift.

That's all.

Have you ever seen something happen that would lose faith in humanity?

Before Christmas, I went with my dad and grandmother to Target to buy a gift for my sister. Buying a gift for my sister was pretty simple because she wanted me to get her a pair of earphones that she could run in, so I didn't have to get anyone's opinion on what to buy. I had the right mind before going into Target. My grandmother was bitching and complaining about my driving the whole time that I was driving to Target, and I finally reached an empty parking space but my dad and grandmother wanted to find something closer.

The thing with me is that I'm not the type of person who likes to waste gas trying to find a close parking spot. If there's a convenient parking spot right there in plain sight, I'll go for that spot...otherwise I'll just find the nearest parking spot and don't give a shit how far away it is. So went spent another minute looking for a parking spot, and spotted a parking spot that was almost half covered by a Mercedes. Just because I know humanity so well, I knew that someone was going to try and park there. As we were walking towards the Target store, a woman was trying to pull in. She had a long car, and I knew that she was either going to fuck up the parking spot...or she was going to scrape against the Mercedes trying to get in.

And, of course, I knew that she was going to scrape it...and I witnessed it all happening. We were walking by and I said "oh yeah, that's gonna work. You do that. Yeah, okay". The whole time, I wonder what she was thinking. Is she just THAT fat that she HAS to damage a Mercedes bumper just so she can get a parking spot that's not even close enough to be even worth damaging a Mercedes. But she did, for what reason is beyond me.

Stuff like that aggravates me because my car is a witness to those kinds of bad experiences. The first time my car was hit by a woman driving a truck, and all she did was left a business card on the front windshield. It took me a week to find out who the owner of the truck was. The least she could of done was get her slutty-ass skinny legs up to the house to tell me that she hit the car and give me her insurance information and call it a day. People just don't want to assume responsibility.

My car was damaged a second time, but it was a hit and run. The bumper isn't bad, it's just scraped...just like the Mercedes. I don't have the money to fix it, so it's just an imperfection for the time being. I'm not going to scrape up against a car just because she's in my parking spot. If it's really that bad, I'll notify the store to notify the owner of the vehicle that's taking up two parking spaces. People don't want to assume responsibilities for their own actions. By her mentality, if someone was parked halfway in my parking space, I could very well get a jack hammer and beat the shit out of her car and it'd be okay because she's in my parking spot. But to me, if someone is parked halfway in a parking spot...I may leave a note being like "just because you have a Mercedes doesn't mean you can take up two parking spaces on holiday shopping, but not actually try and park my car there just to get my point across.

And I bet that woman didn't even tell the Mercedes she scraped against the car.

Anyways...

I bought my sister some 25 dollar earphones...which are really nice, and spent the majority of my time checking out women as they passed by. That holiday shopping brings all the hot mama's to the yard!

Fast forwarding to Christmas:

I got 250 dollars, glasses, a Gillette complete kit (body wash, deodorant, razer, and shampoo/conditioner), 120 cans of Coke (I'll be busy for a while lol), 10 dollar gift card to Game Stop (my sister knows me too well), and a  muscle car calendar.

Pretty much got all I asked for. Christmas went pretty good until I realized that I left my wallet at my aunt's house 120 miles away. It's no big deal...at least I know it's in same hands.

That's it for me. Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas.

...and I'm pretty wide awake right now. I guess that's just to be expected when you don't have a job and literally have nothing interesting going on in your life. I don't mind not having a job. I'm not like my best friend who can't stop working. He's WAY better off than I am -- he's a much more skilled worker than I am, he's more intelligent, etc. Now that I think of it, my best friend is the complete opposite of me...but it's the personality that makes our friendship so strong in the first place. I used to be not so much an asshole, but I've kind of adapted to his concept of of relationships after Ciara, my ex ex ex girlfriend, broke my heart. I decided that relationships weren't worth it, and I mentally became a much stronger person.

It's funny because we're kind of contorting our original beliefs with each other. Now my best friend is dating someone and expects it to be long-term, while I'm just trying to find some decent pussy to refuel the sex tank. I don't completely reject relationships, it's just that I have yet to find a woman who is worth putting my heart on the line.

Anyways, Ciara and I haven't talked in a long time. We went our separate ways and I didn't really care if she called me or not. But very recently she called me up, and we had such a good conversation that she texted me the next day complimenting on the conversation. It used to be that two hours was no big deal...but now that I'm 19 and find it hard to stay on the phone for 30 minutes, 2 hours is a pretty big deal. It was a good conversation, and Ciara actually apologized for breaking my heart and such...which I accepted and also told her that it would've been nicer if she told me when I actually was expecting an apology. It's been a long time since the incident, and I'm almost certain that I posted an entry about this...so if you're all that curious, browse through my archive and you're destined to find it.

Ciara and I talked about a lot of things. Nothing bad, at all. We were actually sharing a lot of laughs, which tells me that I'm completely over Ciara and everything. I pretty much knew that, but it was refreshing to hold a two hour conversation without getting too defensive.

At first, I was kind of "waddyawant" asking her if she's calling me because she's got nothing else better to do or anything. I don't really like it when people call me up because no one else will talk to them at 2:30 in the morning. But...I let it slide and decided that Ciara and I needed to catch up on a few things and attempt to repair our friendship. At least we were both talking to each other on a positive note.

I'll probably never have another relationship with her, nor do I really want one. While she was dating her real boyfriend, her and I were having phone sex and such. I consider that cheating, and I wouldn't want her to do something like that with me. Funny, isn't it?

I'm sort of in a dilemma right now because my best friend wants me to come visit him before I start school on January 11th. The problem is that it's a 12 hour drive and back. I can't say that seeing my best friend isn't worth it, but it's a 12 hour drive. I wouldn't drive 12 hours to go see the President.

My best friend does make a valid point that we have seen each other every year -- it's tradition, basically. If I don't see him, I'm breaking the tradition. And my best friend says that I don't have a choice. Basically, if I say no...I'll disappoint him. If I say yes...well, a mixture of things will happen.

But other than that, this break has been going good. I finished the semester with all A's and B's, totally unexpected, and with a 3.25 GPA. I didn't think I would still get the HOPE scholarship, but apparently I'm good to go. All I have to do is apply for financial aid and supposedly I'm gonna have another 2,400 dollars coming my way. Who knows though. That'll be sweet if I do get another 2,400 dollars.

But that's all for now. Take care.

I realize that I haven't been making entries lately, and I guess I have good reasons why. Ever since Monday, I've been dealing with final exams, a group-presentation, and research paper. I haven't even had time to play Xbox 360, and if I didn't have time to play video games...then you KNOW that I didn't have time to write a blog because...let's face it, I'd much rather waste my time playing video games than typing up a blog. Granted, I did spend 100 dollars on Lifetime, but I've spent countless amounts of money on video games, on Xbox Live, on video game consoles, on songs, etc. I'm more dedicated to playing video games than typing up blogs.

 
So I've been dealing with final exams since Monday. Over the weekend, I spent most of my free time doing my research paper for US History. I started working on my paper last Friday because I figured if I could get my paper done on Saturday night or Sunday morning, I'd have enough time to study for my US History exam and maybe possibly another exam.

Well, that didn't go QUITE as planned, however I did get my essay done on Sunday morning and managed to finish studying for my US History exam where I felt A or B confident.

Everything seemed pretty good because I didn't have to go to any other class except US History to take my exam...and it was from 10 AM to noon, so I had plenty of time to go to sleep. However, I spent most of the morning studying for the US History exam and my room was already covered in unorganized papers. When I saw my room covered in papers, I knew that Wednesday was going to SUCK. My worst classes were on that day: English and Math.

Well it turns out that I managed to get a B on the US History exam, and finished the class with a B average so I have no complaints.

On Tuesday, I had my Public Speaking exam...which I didn't even study for like 10-15 minutes. Most of the material was second nature by now from all the speeches that we've done. There was information that I didn't know on the test, but for the most part it was pretty easy. I suspect a low B at least.

On Wednesday...oh God...I don't even wanna think about it. The day before Wednesday was just dreadful. I focused more on my Math because there was a LOT of information to cover, a lot of stuff that I didn't know, while English was just stuff that I could write down some information and come up with two pages or so pages and finish that class.

I was thinking pretty smart because it actually turned out like that. I wrote the information down for my essay, and I just relied on that and created 3-4 pages. For the math, I did most of the problems on my calculator so unless I did typed the problems in my calculator incorrectly, I suspect a low B (which is what I'm honestly hoping for because that'll be sweet if I can actually finish the class off with a B at least).

But I was SUPER fuckin' bored. I wanted to get school over with so bad. Finally the day came. And it was good.

 

Don't ask about the pictures. I was bored one day and had them on my computer and thought that...hell, let's just put some of those pictures on my Xanga cause I'm cool like that.

I woke up at 2:30 this morning cold and vulnerable. I decided to fight against the cold weather by turning on my lamp and finding articles of clothing that could keep me warm. I found my dad's Falcons' Hat, my black track pants that I loved wearing my senior year of Weight-Training, and my socks that I've been wearing for the past 3 or so days. I went on the computer for a little while, and went back to sleep around 3ish and was finally warm again. My nose was stuffed up, but I was content with the warmness of my clothes, all my sheets and blanket without the fan even budging an inch.

Yet...I woke up with a cold, even though I took some Alka-Seltzer before I went to bed again.

Strangely enough, I felt pretty awake when I got ready for school. I was ready to tackle the day because I need to get all the information I can regarding the final exams and such.

Since I had a cold, I was feeling like crap all throughout the day. After I took Jesus and I to Sub Way, I began to feel tired and eventually went to the car, leaned the seat back, propped my pillow up, and rested my eyes. There was no way I was going to sleep because of the cold, but I got close enough where I felt a little bit rested. The windows were really fogged up like it was the Titanic sex scene all over again, but I didn't really care.

At 2:15, I headed towards my Math class where I found most of my classmates standing there waiting for the door to open.

"You ready for the test?" Someone asked me.

Are you fucking kidding me? "What test?" I said looking at him as if I was awoken by a startling sound during the night. "The test we're taking today..." he said with a smile on his face. "No...I didn't do shit."

"Did you do the take home quiz?"

"No..."

Then a few people tried to comfort me by saying "it won't be that hard".

Oh great, I lose 120 dollars for no reason, and now I'm going to fail a test that I had no clue about, and a quiz. Just peachy.

One of my acquaintances let me borrow his take home quiz and I quickly attempted to write down the answers, but the teacher was picking up the papers in no time and I didn't want to get him in trouble so I just gave it back to him and felt neutral. I wanted to be upset, but I was already upset enough as it was with the ordeal with my bank.

Another one of my acquaintances said that I could sit by him and copy his answers and I originally said "Nah, I don't wanna cheat off you man", and I ended up forfeiting and sitting next to him.

You know what's funny and awesome at the same time? People still cheat in college. I like the fact that the people around me knew what was going on and yet no one said anything.

Strangely enough, I never cheated off the guy on that test. The test was actually quite easy, since it was the first multiple choice test that she's ever given and you pretty much have the answers right there. For a couple of them, I kind of bullshitted trying to figure out the problem, but I used the answers to plug into the equation and looked to see what matched up with what. I'm pretty sure I got the problems right, but she'll probably count off for not finding the answer by actually working the problem. But that's fine because I actually planned on failing the test, but I'll be content with a high C or at LEAST a low B.

However, I did cheat on the last two questions by pretending to get some extra paper out of my binder but actually just getting my notes. She's a nice teacher, so she doesn't go around and make sure that you're not cheating. Then again, none of my teachers do...so it wasn't obvious.

As for the take home quiz, I went up to her and explained that I also had a US History test and got things mixed up. That's kind of a lie...well, it is a lie, but there's some truth to that. We have to bring our research paper to US History on the day of the exam because it's part of our exam, but I had no idea that we even HAD a test today or even a take home quiz to do so it was technically a lie. But it was a lie that saved my ass.

So Math turned out okay, and I was happy to finally go home and start working on my other speech that I will be working on for the next...I don't know...five hours.

So I get home and find some boxes on the kitchen table that are addressed to me. Yes! The products that I risked almost all the money that I had just to buy 80 bucks worth of stuff.

I got my Nintendo 64...that came with an expansion pack. Right then and there, I realized that I just wasted 40 bucks for no reason. So now I wasted 160 dollars.

Awesome...

Bad news is that I spent a lot of extra money on buying the Nintendo 64, but most of the stuff has came and everything is set up.

I had no where else to put it. Gimme a break.

 

Another console that is added to my collection. Between my two televisions is a Playstation 2.

After I got that set-up, I got an e-mail from Geico saying that my payment was declined. What now?!

Well, I got it cleared up and now only have about 100-200 dollars left to spend strictly on my car...and maybe food.

But I'm busy for tonight, so I need to hop to it.

Ever since I've been home from school today, I've been pissed off. I was already kind of ticked off that my group leader in Public Speaking is changing up our presentation and making it much more boring than the rest of people's speeches. I don't like how the whole thing my group cares about is getting the speech over and done with so they can focus on bigger and better things. I can't say that I don't understand how they feel because I'm guilty for not caring how good or bad I do, I just sometimes want things to be over with...like yesterday's US History quiz. I ended up getting a 75, and it's a reasonable grade because I only studied for no more than 5 minutes. I spent most of my "studying" reading the pages that we're supposed to be reading as the class moves along in schedule. But we're talking about individual grades...I treat group projects a little bit differently because I know that we all work differently, and I know how some people hate group projects because you're always going to have someone who doesn't do the work. Most of my group members, even the leader, don't care what they get on the speech, they just care about getting it over with. In group projects, I don't like that kind of mentality, but I don't say a word about it because it's no big deal, really. I mean, who am I to say that kind of stuff?

So I was already pissed off that my group leader was changing stuff around. Originally we were going to do our presentation doing a talk show and doing our speeches in the process and THEN do a game show, but now we're not going to do a talk show and just do our speeches, and then we're going to do a game show. Our presentation is possibly going to be the most boring, but I threw my opinions out there and we're going with what the leader wants to do. I also volunteered to do two speeches because no one else would volunteer and I figured that most of my team members could barely do their own speech so I decided to suck it up and do another one. So, I'll probably spend a couple or so hours tomorrow preparing another speech...but I'm going to get too into it. My speech is around 3-4 minutes long, but I'm only shooting for two minutes on the other one. Fuck it.

So I get home and I start thinking about that 6-month payment that I was supposed to make on the 27th but Geico hasn't automatically deducted money from my school account yet. I went onto Geico and checked to make sure I entered the right debit card information, and a couple minutes or so later, my Geico information was updated and said that they received my payment (however my school account balance still says that I have the money that I had before the payment...it's a good thing I know that).

For the hell of it, I decided to check out my actual account that I signed up with, and I found out that my checking out was in the negatives...by about 162 dollars.

I...absolutely flipped. "WHAT THE FUCK?" It took me two minutes to find the phone number to customer service because I was flipping out and couldn't concentrate.

Long story short, apparently I got "available balance" and "new balance" mixed up. Apparently I had pending transactions and only had 3 dollars that was available to use after I transferred 80 dollars from my savings account to my checking account. I thought that I was in the clear with adding 80 dollars to my checking account and buying those products, but BOY was I mistaken. For every product that I bought, they charged 30 dollars as a "Return Guard Fee". This shit has happened before with me, and I am in no situation to argue with the bank. What originally was 87.17, was now 207 dollars. Basically, I paid 120 dollars for no reason. It's as if I just walked up to a pedestrian and gave them 120 dollars of my money.

I was furious. I punched my dresser, my tv, my door, and I was so mad that I was on the verge of tears. Yeah...tell me about it.

So it pretty much ruined my day, but ti's okay. I've learned my lesson the second time, and the only thing we can do is move on. At least I'm not much older and lost my retirement money or something. I can replace 120 dollars, and it was my fault for not paying attention to my available balance...but now I completely understand and it'll never happen again.

But this week is going to be rough. I plan to spend all day Friday and Saturday doing my research paper for US History and then spending Sunday studying for Monday's exams...but you and I both know that it probably won't happen that way. Either way, I'll be pushing my limits this weekend. Wish me luck.