I haven't really done a negative entry in a while. For the most part, I've been optimistic ever since I found out that Amy wasn't pregnant. When I found out, I was beyond happy. I knew that there was nothing in the world that could make me upset because I knew that my life could've been much worse if Amy ended up pregnant and it was my child. Of course, she said that she would abort the child...but you can't really rely on people to go by what they say unless you trust them enough. Since I haven't known Amy on a personal level, I had no idea what was going to happen if she wound up pregnant. Her mom could've influenced her to take my ass to court or something and force me to pay child support.

This isn't my average depressing entry...I wouldn't even call it depressing, really. What I feel isn't depression, but it's more of a sort of emptiness. My life feels empty, and I'm probably only saying this because I've been on Thanksgiving vacation and haven't done a single thing since school has been out. I know things are going to be completely different for the next couple weeks because I'll be preparing for the final exams, and then I'll actually be taking the final exams. But after that, it'll be Christmas vacation...which is much longer than Thanksgiving vacation.

I'm literally bored out of my mind. I've realized that yesterday consisted of nothing but playing video games and going on the computer -- when I'd get bored of chatting on the internet, I'd go play Xbox 360. When I'd get bored of playing Xbox 360, I'd go chat on the internet. It was a repeating pattern since I woke up (around noon time because I went to bed around 5-6 AM...yeah, I know) around noon time again, and now it's 4:36 in the morning and I'm so bored that it's actually making me feel kind of depressed...like I'm missing something in my life.

Desiring a job is a rare occasion for me, but sometimes, like right now, I'll be so bored that I'll wish that I still worked at Kroger's or something. School keeps me busy, but when I'm not doing stuff for school...I'm bored out of my mind. Perhaps I have too much time on my hands...the emptiness is really my empty schedule.

But that's not really why I wanted to create an entry. The main thing I wanted to talk about was that I've been reading on websites about this whole "Black Friday" thing and I honestly had no idea what the heck what it is...supposedly items are really cheap and people camp out of stores to get the stuff they've wanted for a while. I looked through Amazon.com to see if they had any sweet deals, and I saw Forza Motorsport 3 for Xbox 360 for like 39.99...if I waited a month or so, I could've got Forza for almost 20 bucks less. But 20 bucks isn't worth it.

I then thought to myself...y' know what Brandon, you got some money in your bank account, you're about to buy 6 months of car insurance, why not spend a little something on yourself? So I've been wanting to buy something for quite sometime, and that "something" is a Nintendo 64.

When I was kicked out of my mom's house, the only thing I could bring was clothes...and I wasn't even allowed to bring clothes because my mom had the notion that whatever she bought for me, I couldn't take with me to the orphanage that she was taking me too. I did, however, only wear hideous and non-matching clothing (a button up shirt and a bathing suit, lol) to the orphanage, and while my mom was waiting for my grandparents to come pick me up before she put me in the orphanage, I went into an empty room and changed into some clothing that I had packed in my bag (I was aware that there was security cameras, even a one-sided mirror that you see in interrogation rooms), but I didn't really care who was watching. The bathing suit was too tight and my button up shirt was tight and irritating (I know, story of my life...lol).

But I couldn't bring my xbox 360, or the Nintendo 64, so my mom eventually sold all my stuff in a garage sale.

But I miss the games like Mario Party, Zelda, Bomberman, Starfox, etc. I decided...y' know what? Fuck it. I've always wanted to beat Zelda, and now that I'm 19...I feel optimistic and I decided to buy a Nintendo 64, Zelda: Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask...and I'm supposed to be getting them in a week or so. I'm pretty excited because I've wanted to play Nintendo 64 for a long time.

But that's all I really have for today. I'm going to bed.

I have good news and bad news:

The GOOD news is that I got my converter on (pictures in my last weblog entry), and I also got my car off the ramp (no more worrying about the ramp breaking or anything like that). Unfortunately I don't have pictures of having the car off my ramp, but I don't think it's really necessary. I was really excited because my dad helped me get the car off the ramp, and I had the opportunity to drive her after several weeks of not being driven or even on.

The BAD news is that putting the converter on hasn't solved any of my problems (as far as I'm concerned). In the long run, I probably prevented my car from catching on fire because of the oil build up in the converter, but other than that...the only thing putting the new converter on has done was eliminate one of the several annoying sounds that my car makes while being driven.

I found out that my car was still having the same ol' problems before when I took the car for a test drive with my dad. We went around a long stretch that went around our neighborhood (which is convenient because it's a good little stretch that's wide and easy to spot pedestrians and cars).

At the stop sign, I revved up my engine expecting a really great performance. I expected a great performance because the body shop mechanic originally told me that replacing my old converter with a new one would solve most of the major issues that I've been having.

I reached the long stretch and mashed the pedal to the floor only to find out that my car was accelerating at a very low speed (as if it was tugging a vehicle on a ramp over a large incline).

I thought...okay, well...at least I haven't stalled yet (which was my main concern). I'd rather accelerate up a hill at a slow speed than stall in the middle of the road, putting myself and other drivers on the road in danger. "Coming up, take a right" my dad said. As I was taking a right, I felt my steering wheel become unbelievably hard to maneuver (which automatically indicated to me that my car was stalled and I was now coasting while taking a right. Thankfully it was in a neighborhood street, so I wasn't blocking traffic...but it still sucked. After all that hard work, the problems are yet to be fixed.

I imagined that I would get to be able to drive my car to school again, not relying on my dad and grandparents for transportation. Besides, I was about to spend over 600 dollars for 6 months of car insurance; might as well make good use of my money, right?? I find it hard to believe that I drove my car in such conditions to and from school. I remember stalling about 5-6 times in a matter of 15 minutes.

But today is Thanksgiving, after all. I have to get up in 7-8 hours...which isn't bad, however, I did spend a large portion of my night playing basketball with friends and random people and then playing video games till 3-4 in the morning (so last night I got round 6 hours of sleep). But I'm not complaining because I've sacrificed a lot of sleeping time for school, so if I can make it through tests, quizzes, homework, and projects, I can certainly make it through a large Thanksgiving feast.

And since we're on the subject of Thanksgiving, I might as well make a list of several things that I'm thankful for (in no particular order):

1) I'm thankful that I have a mother and father, even though I'm not part of my mother's life anymore and my parents are divorced.
2) I'm thankful that I have a car that I was given for free that I never thought I was going to actually get).
3) I'm thankful that I have a strong family who mostly treat each other as family members do.
4) I'm thankful that I have a roof to live under, a bed to sleep in, clothes to wear, food to eat, drink to drink... because God knows that if my grandparents didn't love me, I would've lived in an orphanage and separated from my sister even more.
5) I'm thankful that I have a sister. Although she's made some choices that I've disagreed with, she's still my sister and I wouldn't change her with anybody else.
6) I'm thankful I made the right choice of going into college.
7) I'm thankful that I had Xbox Live and met David in a Rainbow Six 3 server, because he's the second most important person in my life and I couldn't live without him.
8) I'm thankful that I'm still alive and not going through depression.
9) I'm thankful that I graduated high school with the HOPE scholarship. God knows that I wouldn't have car insurance right now if it weren't for the financial aid money that I was given.
10) I'm thankful that Amy is NOT pregnant.
11) I'm thankful that I haven't been kicked out of the house regardless of my anger issues and regardless of whether or not I've actually looked for a job.
12) I'm thankful that my sister is still alive and healthy.
13) I'm thankful that I'm on Thanksgiving break.
14) I'm thankful that I lost my virginity.
15) I'm thankful for not being really fat (I will be after today though...)
16) I'm thankful for being a male.

I'm sure there's more, but it's time for me to sleep. Busy day ahead...gotta shave, get my haircut, take a shower, and gain 30 pounds. Right on.

BTW....Happy Thanksgiving to you too.

This morning, I was in bed an extra couple hours because I was having a good dream -- I was in the UFC battling one of my good friends (can't say who lol) and obviously won, and the female judge was very attracted to me and decide to throw in a reward of like...10,000 dollars if I beat him. Knocked him out in one punch.

The dream is totally irrelevant, but I didn't get out of bed till around 12:15 PM -- I slept for...I don't know...9 hours, considering I went to bed around 3:00. I woke up feeling pretty good, pretty optimistic, because I was getting close to finishing my project that I've had so much trouble with for the past couple weeks. The biggest problem was the bolts: The bolts were rusted onto the metal, and because the bolts were screwed on there very tightly and because the rust (and eventually...the metal from the bolt itself), getting the bolts off were nearly IMPOSSIBLE. Some were easier than others, but there was some bolts that there was NO WAY I was going to get those bolts off unless I used the right tools. My uncle came over and used one of his tools, a socket wrench, and the socket actually cracked directly in half. The bolts were so messed up that they had to be BROKEN off instead of twisted off.

As you can see, there's not a whole lot of room to get underneath the car. You can get under the car, but you don't have much room to work. That was also a big problem. Car mechanics don't have any problem removing bolts because the car is usually above their head (and they can even stand up), and they have machinery that can just pop it off like it's no big deal.

But it was a big deal for me. I spent several weeks trying to get the converter off, and I started to give up. Before my uncle came over, I felt helpless...and my dad kept telling me things that weren't going to work and making me feel like I could actually do something about it. After I finally got the converter off, I felt optimistic.

Then I had some problems with getting the kit to my new catalytic converter.

Well, first thing was first...I needed to figure out how to install the kit. The "kit" consisted of a 8"rubber hose, an 12" rod, and some clamps, but I only needed a half an inch of space.

The part is kind of hard to see, but it's a rubber hose that's connecting two metal poles (one pole goes into the engine, another pole is off the converter). Supposedly it's for the back pressure that the converter creates when I'm driving my car -- absolutely critical. To me, it looks like a masterpiece because I actually had to cut the rubber hose to the appropriate size, and then I had to put the clamps (which are the metal things on the rubber hose), and then screw those in too. After that part, I thought I was done...

...but I was wrong.

I started the car up and the car sounded really good, perhaps too good, but it sounded good and I was content. I checked the bottom of the car to see if anything went wrong, and nothing really happened that was a big deal. What I found out was that the converter was leaking oil because I didn't screw the converter to the metal correctly. Plus I believe I used the wrong bolts that my dad spent 12 dollars buying me, and I needed to go back to Ace Hardware to get me 7 more bolts, nuts, and lock washers.

It was no big deal going back to the store and spending more money on the converter, but when I got home...I made an almost horrible mistake.

Instead of unscrewing all the original bolts at one time and putting the new ones on, I could just put on the new ones one at a time so I wouldn't have to put everything back on and risk damaging the rubber hose. The first three went smoothly, and then I made the mistake of using the wrench and TIGHTENING the bolt instead of loosening. Not only did I make it really tight, but I also banged up the bolt in the process -- pieces of metal were falling to the floor by the time I realized what I was doing.

THANKFULLY I found a piece to the socket wrench that was big enough to take the bolt off, and I proceeded.

After the installment of 8 new bolts and tightening them, I was finished.

I can look at this picture and smile because this is what I did. I did this myself. Looks pretty damn good.

Now all I have to do is get it off the ramp, test drive it...and we should be good. I expect to have the Firebird back up and running by tomorrow afternoon.

So, my car has been on a ramp for a couple or so weeks, and most of the time it's been sitting there without having anything done. I never really had a reason for putting it on a ramp till my uncle came over (which I've made a previous entry about that experience). Now that I have the converter off and half my exhaust pipe is halfway on the car and halfway off, I finally went to Advanced Auto Parts and they ordered me an exact replacement. While I was at school, my dad also went to Lowes to buy several bolts that I needed to assemble the converter.

All through out the day, I was really excited -- I was finally going to be able to put on my converter when I get home, I can take the car off the ghetto ramp, and I can finally drive my car to and from school again. My dad says that he'll pay for a tune up as an early Christmas present, but my intuition tells me that the tune-up is going to be more than he expected. My dad believes that the only thing that I need is new hoses and wires replaced. Although I would agree that I definitely need to get new wires and tubes, I also believe that there's more problems that he's aware of.

Once I get a the converter on my car and a tune-up, my next project is to buy small things (like hub caps), and I definitely need to start waxing my vehicle and maintaining her physical appearance (because I really don't like to see her not only sit there not doing anything, but also looking the part).

But I'm looking optimistic about things since taking the converter is the hardest part. The biggest thing that I want done is having the converter replaced, and a tune-up (which should include fluid checks and changes, etc). After that, I'll be content -- then I'll ask for a magna-flow exhaust or something to kind of spice up the sound a little bit. Originally I was just going to keep the converter off and straight pipe it, but it would of been illegal...so I guess the best thing to do would be to just get an exhaust system and appreciate that I even have a vehicle (that I got for free...hypothetically).

But I wasn't able to put the converter on today because although I have the right part and the correct sized bolts (as far as I know), I still lack a kit that assembles an important part to the catalytic converter. My dad thought that we could bend stuff around or something, and I was like..."no, I'm not going to put my car at risk". I think 30 dollars is a necessary sacrifice that I was willing to take.

But I was SO pissed off. The Advanced Auto Part website is misleading because although it says in the description that I need a kit, it also says that the part "fits my car". "Fit" means different things to different costumers, and I was unfortunate enough to not read the description because I went to the store and had the part ordered, and the employee got the part because it "fits my car", and didn't bother explaining that I also need the kit.

So I get the part, I go underneath my car with a smile on my face only to realize the the piece of the puzzle doesn't fit. I was in a cranky mood because I went to bed at 3:30 in the morning for no apparent reason and only managed to get about 3-4 hours of sleep. So this was no good news to me. "It's the wrong part", I said to my dad. Thankfully, it's not the wrong part, but I don't have all the parts that I need to assemble it.

So I went to the closest Advanced Auto Parts store to order a kit, but they don't even have the kit. The hispanic employee that was trying to find the part didn't really know what he was looking for, perhaps I didn't explain myself good enough, so he got one of his other employees who probably knew more about cars than he did. He also told me that they didn't have the kit. "You have an 85' Firebird Trans-Am? I have an 84', it's over there" he said pointing to the parking lot. To be perfectly honest, I thought my Firebird looks better than his, but I said "it looks pretty good"...which it did. "As a Firebird owner, isn't it strange to have the converter, but not have the kit?" I said, not really in a negative tone, but mostly just...disappointed and losing my patience. "Not really". He went onto explain that he got his converter done at Midas, and I wasn't going to fork over 250 bucks or so to have my converter installed. If I do the job myself (which I am), I'm saving...I don't know...about 30-40 bucks. After what I've been through trying to get that converter off, 30-40 bucks is pushing whether it was worth doing the job myself. I guess I'm more educated now because I'm learning more stuff about my car. I've never really seen what my car looks like underneath, so I guess saving 30-40 bucks and learning more about my car makes it worth it in the end. Who knows...

So I travel to the next Advanced Auto Parts store, and they were more helpful and had common sense to check the description of the part. Long story short (haha), I get the kit either tomorrow or Wednesday. But you know...I'm not racist, but the Advanced Auto Parts that I normally go to is heavily populated with hispanics. Since I was driving my grandmother's car, it's almost impossible for someone in a riced out car to look at me when they drive by. It's a 93' Honda Accord that's completely stock and over 150,000 miles...can't I just drive a grandmother car like it's not a race car?

BTW, I think the cashier thought I was hispanic...speaking English and then throwing a couple Spanish words in the mix. I don't know.

So I guess I'm going to endure another two-three days of either being driven to school and picked up, or driving my grandmother's car and getting a temporary parking pass...but I guess it'll be worth it when I get my car back up and on the streets again.

In other news, I'm going to be pretty busy for the next couple days (week even) because I've got an essay due next week (but I kind of need to have a rough draft done by Tuesday night). If I don't do the paper, I won't get a red check (which I guess it could be worse...but I'm still going to try and get done with the essay as much as I can regardless of how much I actually need to get done).

So, we'll see how that goes.

Until next time...

It's only been four days, but it feels like it's been a couple weeks since I've made an entry. Quite a lot of things have been going on, actually. And surprisingly enough, they have been good.

Well, I don't know if I mentioned this or not...but I got an 80 on my Math test. I studied moderately hard on that test, and owe my sister two dollars for helping me on the study guide with the questions I didn't understand. A lot of the questions that were asked were, of course, on the study guide...but the study guide consisted of over 95 questions. The test asked only a select few, and they were the questions that I didn't study the most of. I went complex, thinking that she's going to ask the really hard questions...but they were probably the easiest questions but I just didn't focus my attention on those. How ironic.

We did the study guide to not only learn the information, but to get bonus points -- but on the day of the test, she said that if we turn in our study guides...she'll only give us 2 bonus points.

But it all worked out because I had a 78 on the test, and bumped it up to an 80...so the 2 points actually got my grade from a regular C to a low B. And I need all the B's I can get in that class, for reals.

On my last entry, I talked about being pretty busy with studying for my US History quiz, preparing my speech for English, and then prepare for my speech in Public Speaking. I was pretty swamped -- I had a lot going on and got stressed out. I didn't have time to play video games, so I haven't had the time to really sit down and play video games or anything like that. I know...I know. Tough life.

I think I did decently good on my presentation for English -- it was longer than some people's, but I'm not too sure if I analyzed my ad the way he wanted me too. Now I just have to worry about writing a paper that analyzes my ad and also incorporating sources into my ad...so that'll be a pain in the ass. I also found out today that I got 17 out of 20 points on my US History, which is an 85. On Thursday, I did my speech for Public Speaking and got a 93.

So it's safe to say that I feel pretty good, y' know? The week turned out okay because I've had a lot of big things going on at once, but I still pulled it off with good grades. Besides, I got a freakin' B on my Math test...that was my first B on a test in that class, so that alone has brought up my confidence a bit.

So I'm just enjoying this weekend because I don't have much going on right now.

But Friday came.

It's funny because I woke up at 9:40 AM and not even five minutes after, the door bell rang. I rushed to my window and saw my uncle in his 03' Ford Ranger getting stuff out of the trailer. Shit, I thought to myself. I just woke up!

Well, to make a long story short...I would have never been able to get those bolts off. It's a good thing that it lasted longer than it did because I thought that it was just me, but my uncle clearly said that it's not me...it's the bolts that were the problem. They were the wrong sizes, and they were stuck on the converter big time. My uncle used his big jack to jack the back end of the car up, but his hydrolics weren't working and I was the person who had to keep jacking the car up because the jack wouldn't lock in place. What ended up happening was that three out of four bolts were hard bolts (the head ended up getting broke, so the threads are still in the converter but the converter IS OFF thank the LORD!) Now I just got to find the exact converter and put a new one on with the right set of bolts and it'll be ready for a tune up.

But I thought that we were done...but it turns out that we weren't even close to finishing. My uncle wanted to work around the house. He wanted trees cut, bushes cut, grass cut, and piles of wood and such to be put down on the street.

It was some hard work, and around 6...I took a nap because I was exhausted. I haven't been that exhausted since I was in Texas working with my bro's dad framing a house.

But now I'm on, and I'm not on for long cause it's 3:30 and I plan to sleep till 11 or so. Need to catch up on my sleep.

Well, that's all for now.

Sorry I haven't typed up an entry since Saturday. I knew that my last entry wasn't going to get any attention, lol. However, I just needed to get that off my chest.

Anyways, I found out that I got an 83 on my Revolutionary Character's test that I kept stressing over. I guess anyone would if they only have three days to read 274 pages that you had to interpret. Reading and interpreting are two totally different things. Plus, who would spend 16 dollars on a book about George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, James Madison, and all those "revolutionary characters" that the book was talking about? I know I sure wouldn't!

But I got an 83 and was damn proud of myself. I did horrible on the true/false section of the test, but I dominated the short answer questions, did really well on the multiple choice as well. Of course I used my book for most of the questions, but I knew where a lot of the answers were, so I just used the index and found the answers by flipping pages. There were some questions that I knew, but they weren't specific questions -- that's why I dominated the short answer questions. Provide three things about George Washington...bam bam bam. Minus 0. I expected to get a C or even an F, but I did a lot better than I expected and content with myself at the moment.

I am pretty busy today -- actually, I'm really busy today because I have a presentation tomorrow along with a US History quiz...and I need to do both. I can't afford to not get "three red checks" in English and a bad quiz grade in US History. The worst part is that the US History quiz is over the pages in the book, and the teacher wells know that most (if not all) of his students don't read the book until we absolutely have to.

I consulted with my English teacher through e-mail and I don't have to incorporate any core sources into my presentation, so I can just present the ad and spend five minutes getting into depth about the ad. It's not like a speech in public speaking, so I don't feel obligated to do my best and can just read my information off a paper and not even look at my audience. So what I'm going to be doing is definitely finishing my presentation outline for English, and then spending the rest of the night browsing actually reading the text and taking notes (if time permits).

So I'm pretty busy today.

The great news is that my uncle is going to help me work on my car on Friday, and he's going to bring the right tools for the job. He says it's only going to take about five minutes to do, and I can just get the converter off...and put on a new one. My dad said that for an early Christmas present, he'll take my car to get a tune up also. Three more days!!

Well, that's all for today.

I haven't done a good quality entry in a while and I'm feeling pretty motivated to do one right now. I would just make this a regular old entry talking about how my day was, how much homework I have to do this weekend, and etc, but I've decided to do a quality entry that (to me) has a chance at making the front page of Xanga. What will probably happen is most people will disregard this entry and move on with their lives.

But I'm okay with that...if that's the case.

Ever since I've had a Xanga, I've always dreamed of having an entry of mine posted onto the front page for a day or two of fame. After creating an entry (on an -ish site...which I think is cheating) that made it to the front page of Xanga, I no longer felt motivated to type up entries that people would actually enjoy.

But today...I feel different. Perhaps the reason why I feel different is because it's really early in the morning and I haven't had Pepsi for almost a week till now. But I've recently watched a movie with part of my family called "Hotel Rwanda" -- it's a very interesting movie about a moment in time where there was total chaos in Rwanda, Africa. The movie was about a man who had a good life until he went through harsh times of people being slaughtered on the streets with machetes, people dieing of starvation, dehydration, and disease, women being held captive as prostitutes, homes being consumed in fire, people being shot at point blank range, etc.

Disclaimer: I'm not perfect, so this entry goes out to me as well!

I'm not here to talk about the movie itself, but the movie does make an interesting point -- over 500,000 people have died and there are still people in the world who have no clue that it actually happened. There are still people in the world who've never heard of The Holocaust and/or believe that it's some kind of government conspiracy.

As an American, I can regrettably say that I don't know what goes on around the world -- hell, sometimes I don't even know what goes on in my own country. I have no interest in politics or anything news-related because I find that stuff boring to watch or read, and therefore I am not involved (even though I should be deeply concerned about what goes on).

In our modern society, there are people who are pessimists, and there are people who are optimists -- but I think that even optimists have a breaking point and become not-so optimistic. And to be honest, I think that's exactly our problem. When something bad happens in our lives, we spend a lot of our time thinking about bad thoughts and become helpless. Once we feel helpless, we act out of instinct to seek comfort (whether it be doing drugs, having sex, seeking advice, etc). But the problem is that when we seek advice, we probably already know what people are going to say, but we're only seeking advice just so people can feel bad for us, and trying to find justification for our feelings.

And if you've ever seeked advice, have you ever heard "it could always be worse"?

Most likely, we know that our lives could always be worse...but we don't really care about the people who suffer more than we do. All we know is that we're feeling bad, and that whatever is going on with our lives, our feelings are justified, and it's all about ourselves.

If you think about it, a lot of the stuff we worry about isn't anything compared to what has happen throughout the course of history and even at the present moment.

While men are fighting in Afghanistan, there are people in the world who will have a bad day because they can't get their hair how they want it. There are people out there who feel "lonely" because they don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend, but there have been women who have been held captive as prostitutes -- beaten, starved, and killed...and it still happens till this day. There are men and women out there who feel ugly because they're underweight, and they don't even realize they're underweight (and that they're actually "fat"), but there are children who are starving because they don't have the luxury that most of us have.

In reality, we don't appreciate as much as we should. If those of the people who have died in Rwanda, or The Holocaust, suffered as an African/Asian slave, came back from the dead and listened to the modern society complain about insignificant things, I'm sure most of them would say something like "is that all you've got?" Because what have you been through that makes you different than everybody else?

We all have problems. But what a lot of people (I think) don't understand is that life doesn't give us problems to make us miserable for the rest of our lives or encourage us to kill ourselves, life gives us problems to help build our character and to help us learn that "it can always be worse".

Rubber connects to the tile floor as I enter the building that leads me to the classroom of US History. I slide my hand down my right pocket, pulling out a cellphone that contained the information that I needed: the time. Still having 10 minutes to reach my classroom, I walked towards the classroom, eyeballing all the females, searching for the attractive ones that I could gaze over my shoulder and check them out as they are walking past me. Scents of perfume fill the air as I make a left turn into the doorway to US History. Almost the whole class was already seated, contemplating on the test while briefly looking at me while I walked to my seat that was touching the back wall.

I sat down, thinking about how hard the test I was about to take. My mind filled with "What If" questions and I started to get nervous. Keep your cool Brandon, I thought to myself. The last thing that you want to do is panic.

The US History teacher entered the room with a handful of things. He's an elderly man, but he's funny and a good teacher. "All right, does anyone have any questions?" He asked while pulling out a stack of papers that were none other than the tests that the class was about to take. I raised my hand and asked if we were allowed to use our notes. After saying "yes", I sighed with relief.

I don't know why I sighed with relief because I only took a page of notes that were of no use to me.for the test. The test was a lot different than I imagined. The teacher said that the questions were going to be "general", but they weren't general at all. Most of the majority of questions you couldn't possibly remember unless you took notes on every little thing while you were reading. Since I read the book in only three days (which is a miracle to me), I started to panic. These aren't general questions, these are very specific questions.

The test contained multiple choice, true and false, and short answer -- I spent the majority of my time looking up questions in the book. You don't even need to read the book to answer most of the questions correctly...all you had to do was look through the index for most of them, but there's still a chance that you won't be able to find it.

I'm not feeling too confident on the test, even though I read the book. HOPEFULLY I got a B. I'll be content with an 80...anything higher than that...I'll give myself a pat on the back.

On a positive note, I signed up for my next semester's classes. If I'm still eligible for the HOPE scholarship, my classes will be paid for and I'll have another 2,400 dollars coming my way. Wouldn't that be amazing? IF I still qualify for the HOPE scholarship. The classes I signed up for are subject to change, but I have English, Math, Sociology, and World History. I haven't checked out all the teachers yet, but I don't care right now because only thing I'm concerned about is getting the classes! Classes go quick.

I tried getting a perfect schedule, but it's okay. I have two classes Monday and Wednesday, and two more Tuesday and Thursday...so I have an equal amount of classes each day. Three classes isn't bad, but I'm tired by Math class...and that doesn't help at all because sometimes I'm spending some time fighting against falling asleep...which that alone doesn't help me concentrate, so I end up not writing down the most efficient notes.

But I got an 87 on my last Math quiz...possibly the highest grade YET I've received in that class. Homework isn't checked...so the only grades I can get is from quizzes and tests. There's a test coming up on Monday, so hopefully I've taken enough notes. Tomorrow after my 2nd period, I'll have some time to start on my study guide...which will give me less to do for the rest of the day and rest of the week. I also have a speech coming up, strangely enough in English. Over what? I have no idea. Something about how I'm going to analyze my ad. Tomorrow I have English, so you'll bet your ass that I'll be paying full attention and asking questions...because I have NO idea what's going on. But it works out because then, I have a speech in Public Speaking on Thursday. I'm pretty swamped, but it's not TOO bad. I just have a lot to do tomorrow and for the rest of the week, along with fixing my car. My dad isn't too happy about me not fixing my car, so I have to put forth more effort to try and get the rusted up bolts off the converter so I can take it off. Will it happen? I don't know...but I'm going to try...again...for the 4th time.

SOO....that pretty much concludes what's been going on lately. Oh, and my great grandmother has moved in with us for a couple weeks. There are just some times where I wish I never moved back to Georgia and just stayed in Texas with my best friend. But my best friend and I both know that once I graduate college, I'm out of Georgia and starting my new life with my best friend. At least, that's what I'm intending. But that's the only goal that I have so far in life.

I haven't celebrated Halloween for as long as I can remember. I actually don't like Halloween...mostly because it's not scary like it used to be. I've considered going around the neighborhood scaring little children, but it turns out that I was actually really exhausted.

Over the past weeks, I've lost a couple hours of sleep here and there..and since sleep never goes away, it caught up to on Halloween night. I wasn't planning on going anywhere anyways...in fact, I just planned on playing Forza 3 some more and continuing reading my boring ass book. I treated Halloween like it was any other night...only this time, I was exhausted and decided that it was time for me to go to bed.

I went to bed around 9:30, and it didn't take me long to wake up around midnight. I grabbed a glass of water and headed towards my dad's room to remind him to set his clock back -- he started work yesterday, and he's helped me not be late for school, so I figured that I'd return the favor. "Now what are you going to do?" He asked me looking at the television. "Go back to sleep" I said. I was still very tired, but there was a few things I needed to do: get a glass of water, remind my dad to set his clock back, and check my plants on Farmville.

Within about 15 or so minutes on the internet, I was back in my bed asleep.

I ended up getting about 12-13 hours of sleep, which is definitely out of the ordinary for me and it's agreeable that my body realized that I was sleep deprived and wanted to spend some valuable time regaining some lost sleep. I didn't mind...I woke up feeling pretty great and ready to tackle the long day spending countless hours of reading my book.

Thankfully, I finished the book earlier than intended. I resumed from page 109, and read the rest of the 165 pages that was filled with absolute boringness...ending at page 274 at 11:00 PM. Now it's 12:53 AM, and I'm just chilling right now. I figured since I got 12-13 hours of sleep, I can handle only sleeping 4-5 hours tonight.

What sucks is that my car still isn't fixed, and my dad is going to take me to school and drop me off. Since I'm paying for my own car insurance, I want to drive my car as much as possible...but having bolts that won't come off the catalytic converter isn't going to do me any good. If I keep the converter on my car, I actually run the risk of the car catching on fire...and we don't want that. I remember seeing someone's car on fire in the emergency lane on the highway...and it wasn't a pretty sight. The owner was just standing there as his engine was engulfed in flames and blackness filled the skies.

But the good news is that I'm more optimistic about doing the job myself. I had a real trouble of getting a bolt off the catalytic converter. It was a BITCH to remove, and it took several methods and a couple days of tinkering with to actually get it off. Finally, giving up all hope, I decided to go back to the first method of using WD-40...a popular rust remover. Strangely enough, with a few hard tugs, the bolt budged and I was able to take it off. I was happy, and I became optimistic again. After school, I plan on starting the other side of bolts that will ultimately allow me to take the converter off and I can replace it with a new one.

So, I have a test on the book tomorrow...not sure how good I'll do yet because the teacher says "if you read it, you'll do very well"...but "reading" means different things to different teachers. We'll find out tomorrow.

I'm really tired right now, but a lot of stuff has been going on lately that I just need to talk about. Mostly the stuff I have to talk about is bad...and will go to some pretty bad lengths, too. However, not EVERYTHING that has been going on is bad.

The biggest good thing that has been going on lately is that Forza Motorsport 3 has FINALLY came out, and it is BY FAR...one of the greatest racing games that I've ever played. Nascar 2005 is my favorite, Need For Speed Underground 2 was pretty awesome online (just because there were so many glitches), but Forza 3 exceeded my expectations. I bought the video game on the 27th...woke up extra early because I thought that there was going to be a long line at Gamestop, the store that I preordered my game from. My dad was pretty ticked off that I woke up extra early to go get a video game because he said that "it's amazing" how I'm able to wake up early for things like traveling to Gamestop to get a video game. I think it is pretty amazing, considering the fact that I've been losing sleep little by little. During school nights, it's a very rare occasion to get the full 9 hour recommended amount of sleep. I'm lucky to even get 8...but I usually don't for a variety of reasons. Yes, video games are one of them...but I find caffeine to be the largest factor. Makes sense because Coke contains sugar and caffeine. I mean, Coke originally contained cocaine...it's no surprise that I find myself staying up late at night despite the fact that I'm tired. So I can understand my dad's point of view...I guess it'd piss me off too. Tomorrow I have a lot of stuff going on, so I expect to go to sleep extra early and wake up at a decent time on Saturday morning.

But the good news is that I got Forza...but I've got some very bad news.

Let's talk about my car.

Now if you haven't kept up with my entries, my car has had a lot of problems. My dad and I have probably spent more money on the vehicle than it's actually worth. I feel stupid for passing up a 2003 Ford Ranger for 10 dollars...it's something that I'll never forget. But I got the 85' Firebird instead...which I wanted more than the 2003 at the time, but then my car started experiencing problems. I don't have the money to keep up with the stuff that needs fixing.

I go to school one day, and I'm feeling pretty good -- got the windows rolled down, the music at a content level, and I'm heading towards school...and I notice that my car is making weird sounds. I just shrug my shoulders and continue driving. The next day, I become concerned -- I tell my dad about it and he tells me to go take it to a body shop to have it looked at.

The guys looked at my vehicles for not even two minutes after they put the car on the ramp. They said I was having problems with my catalytic converter. I didn't know what the hell that was and I figured I could just get it replaced for the $230 or so dollars that they wanted to charge me to have it replaced. But the kicker was that they wouldn't work on my car unless it was in tip-top condition (what they said was that they wanted the engine to "purr" before they could put the catalytic converter on). That's a problem because I have the money for a cat (converter), but I don't have the money to repair my whole engine. It's possible that my engine just needs new wires and/or tubes, but I don't exactly know what's going on with my engine so I'm not sure how much money we're talking about.

My dad and I considered straight piping the car (removing the catalytic converter) and just connecting pipes together. The biggest thing about straight-piping is that it's illegal, and you'll get fucked up by the law if you get caught. My car could get impounded, AND I'd have to pay a hefty fine. The only reason why I considered it is because it's cheaper to do, and wouldn't require fixing my engine.

So in reality...I had three options. Option 1 was risk it all and take the straight pipes off. Besides the fact that it's illegal, it could also cause problems with my exhaust system over an extended period of time. The plus is that my car doesn't require emissions testing anymore because it's going to turn 25 in January, so I don't have to have the car inspected. But it's VERY loud, and I could still get caught.

Option 2 was replace the cat with a new one and focus on the engine problems afterwards. With the engine's current state, it could actually mess up my cat again...and God knows what else. But the catalytic converter would be fixed for a certain period of time.

Option 3 was to not worry about it at all. This is a no-brainer...at least now it is. If I don't replace the converter, my car will simply lose power and eventually won't start at all. It makes sense because I drove to school Wednesday morning, and my car stalled about five times. What's even more dangerous is that it stalled while I was driving. Normally my car would've stalled at a stop light or something because the RPMs would be in the 500's at idle, but now...my car could stall at any time. This poses a problem because if my car were to stall around a corner and I was traveling at 40-45 miles an hour...the first thing that my car would do is shut off, and my steering wheel would lock up...which means that I would be going straight. Not only do I have to worry about hitting other people's cars, but when my car stalled...some asshole behind me honked his horn. What do you expect me to do? My car stalled...I had to put my car in park, otherwise it'll mess up the car when I try to turn the car back on while in drive...coasting at 20 miles an hour. It just wouldn't happen regardless. So I honked my horn back in a polite sense as a way to say to him...what's honking gonna do? Why don't you get out of the car and try and beat my ass? Honking is for pussies. My car stalled...shit happens, y' know? But it happened 5 times...and I don't even live that far from the college that I attend. It's only like...10-15 minutes.

So I ended up not even driving to school on Thursday. I started working on my car on Thursday instead.

It turns out that taking the catalytic converter is simple to do. The problem was that I had to somehow get under the car. I don't have a diesel truck, so I could barely fit my head under the car. What ended up happening was that my dad helped me jack my car up, and rest the right front wheel on a ramp...which gives me more limited amount to work with.

...But...there's a problem.

My car is an 85', and there's 8 bolts that need to be removed from the converter, and the converter is probably stock. The bolts have rusted up over the years, which means that it is near IMPOSSIBLE to remove the bolts by yourself. I've used the socket wrench...pushing...pushing...punching...hitting, hammering, everything to try and get ONE bolt to budge. But like I said...it is near impossible. It's so impossible that there's better methods.

My first method was to try and get rid of the rust. I applied WD-40 and All-in-one oil to the bolts themselves...no luck. FINALLY, I got pissed off one day and started hammering the crap out of one bolt and it came off. I tried with another one...and it worked. I was gathering my motivation. Then the third bolt...didn't budge. I bought some CLR, which my best friend says is a good rust remover...and it, so far, has failed. I began to grow frustrated because my dad kept telling me that I'm giving up and that I'm walking to school if I don't get my car fixed,...and I lost it.

I absolutely lost it. I grew furious. Normally, I take what my dad says because he usually says the same things, but I got annoyed and was pissed off already about my car not cooperating with me that I blew up right then and there.

I punched a wall. I went into my room, took the empty Febreeze bottle that was sitting next to my alarm clock...and slammed it onto the wooden floor. Pieces flew everywhere.

I went outside and tried to calm down. I punched my car, I kicked my car's side skirt. I grabbed my crowbar, and went to town on the outside plastic chairs, swinging at the back rests and arm rests...totally demolishing an arm rest, making it fly several feet in the air. I picked up a chair and threw it up at the backyard. I dropped the crowbar, and walked to the swing set.

And I just sat there for about 10 minutes gazing at the concrete. I called my best friend:

"Hey, what's up man"
"Nothing still driving on the road"
"I fucked up..."

I went onto explaining the situation and I told him that I wanted to call the cops on myself because I felt like I was a danger to society. I needed to be as far away from the house, for I already caused enough pain. I told my dad that I hated him and wish he died, I punched walls, damaged chairs, hit and kicked my car, and threatened to call the cops on myself.

But I apologized to my dad instead. It's funny because the last time I apologized to my dad, I overdosed on fake sleep medication. Anger problems much?

But oddly enough, I wasn't grounded...even though I grounded myself and told my dad before I walked out of the house that I unplugged my internet, and that he's a "bitch....bitch".

I was furious.

So I guess I've just had a lot going on lately. I got a B on my US History exam, and I thought I was going to do horrible on it...but I did pretty dang good on it.

Now I have another test Monday over a book that I've only partially read. Oh, I only need to read 56 pages a day starting tomorrow. Doesn't seem like much...but this isn't the kind of book that you'll buy for 12.99 at your local book store and read on your spare time.

But other than that...I'm okay. Still alive. Not depressed yet, but I'm just going through some shit. Oh well. Life goes on.