My plans were ruined this weekend. I didn't get NEAR as stuff done as I should've. I actually am hoping that I don't get any sleep tonight because I could use another six hours of pure studying on US History. I finished my math study guide, feel confident in a few things, need work in others, and some answers I couldn't even get to because the book doesn't explain everything...so I'm hoping tomorrow that I can see my math teacher sometime before class starts. I really gotta do good on this quiz.

Anyways, I really need to study...so I don't have anything to say really, just an update of what's going on right now and what's going down tomorrow.

Wish me luck.

I'm off to a slow weekend start. Not only have I not started on my persuasive speech outline, but I haven't done anything yesterday. Plans got kind of changed when my sister called my dad and wanted to get picked up. I was planning on meeting the guy who's going to buy my Rock Band guitars at a Caribou Coffee, a coffee place that was like...20 minutes from where I live. I had it all planned out because my GPS didn't tell me to go on the highway, and it sucks that he ALWAYS wants to meet at inconvenient times (he gets off work at 6:00, which is when most of the traffic in Atlanta occurs). Today, it's not good to only own a classic muscle car because you get poor gas mileage, and traffic is even worse when your car isn't in tip-top condition. Not only are you wasting gas, but you're only putting your car on the line. After I got my car, I felt like it was only a matter of time before my car would just completely stop working. But it still works, fortunately.

Well, I had all my plans set to leave extra early to see if I could beat traffic and meet the guy at 6:00 PM and move on with my life with a 20 dollar bill in my pocket, but my sister called and wanted to be picked up. Since her boyfriend is in jail for DUI, her life is meaningless right now...she has "nothing better to do". She made a comment on her Face book, and I responded how she was psychologically dependent on her boyfriend, and she ended up just deleting my comment. Truth hurts. Denial. Whatever the case may be.

I was unfortunate enough to be the first one to drive my grandmother's 93' Honda Accord with my dad in the passenger seat sipping on his Coke and his thick paper-back book in his lap. My dad said he hoped there wasn't going to be traffic at 4:00 in the afternoon, but there was.

I have this firm belief that when you think there's not going to be any traffic, there is.

Before we get onto the highway, my dad decides to go a different direction -- a direction to possibly skip all the traffic. I was all for that. I moved out of the left turning lane and made my way across the four way intersection, realizing that there was a truck coming directly at me almost from the side. I instantly reacted by hugging the curb almost, having the truck coming within inches of hitting my grandmother's Honda Accord. My dad was currently on the phone at the time, and he was bracing for impact by saying "WATCH OUT WATCH OUT"...but I kept calm reacted without thinking it through. I honestly believe that if it weren't for video games, I probably wouldn't have moved over and the truck would of hit me.

And it probably would of been my fault too.

As we're making our way down the, supposedly, "shortcut", there was a two lane left-turn, and I was int he right lane and this stupid fucker was in the left. Apparently, he didn't realize it was two lanes, and he was inches away from clipping my bumper.

At this point in time, I became scared of driving because I avoided two car accidents...and I wasn't even on the highway yet.

Along the way, we've seen at LEAST 8-10 car accidents...not as they happened, but passing by. No wonder traffic was backed up. Today was freakin' Let's-Fuck-People's-Cars-Up Day. It was perhaps the WEIRDEST driving experience that I've ever had.

But something unfortunate happened today, and it's probably going to cost a lot of money...but I found out that my catalytic converter is messed up and that I need a new one. The kicker is that the people who checked my car out will not work on my car until it "purrs" because if my car isn't in good condition, it'll fuck up the cat. I consulted with my Firebird online forum and they have no idea why he said that. At this point in time, it's all about patience and dealing with one thing at a time.

I HAVE to do SOMETHING tomorrow as far as school is concerned, otherwise...I'm not going to do good on Monday. And that's a guarantee. Ironically, I'm not as scared on the midterm as I am on the math quiz. If I can do good on just ONE quiz or test in Math, it'll bring my confidence up and help me finish strong. But, we'll see what happens...

Until next time...

I'm glad it's the weekend. Another long ass weekend for me to catch up on some much needed sleep and do nothing but school work. That's right. I am swamped this weekend because I've got all kinds of stuff coming up Monday and Tuesday. I plan on spending all of Friday dedicated to doing my persuasive speech outline -- I feel pretty confident in doing my persuasive speech outline first because there's a lot of information to talk about, and an outline is just an outline of what I'm generally going to be doing, not what I'm actually going to be doing in my speech. If I spend all day doing my speech and actually be able to finish my outline, I can spend the rest of the weekend studying for my Math quiz and US History midterm for Monday. Hopefully everything goes as planned, but I'm not stressing it because yesterday my Gold membership for Xbox Live got canceled. No more Xbox Live for me. So far, it's positively affected me because an hour or so ago, I turned my Xbox 360 on and had the urge to play my newest game Dirt 2 (that I've only had for a week or so). I stared at the Xbox main menu, and I decided that I might as well utilize my time by reading my book that I'll eventually have to write about in US History.

The book is SUPER boring, but I ended up reading 30 or so pages...which isn't actually that bad since I'm on page 85 out of 336 pages (got about two weeks to read it...no rush, yet).

Speaking of Xbox, I originally was going to meet the guy that I set up a meet. I'm selling my Playstation 3 Rock Band guitars that I've had from...haha...several months ago that was chillin' in my closet...and I just decided to sell them on Craigslist for 20 bucks. I exclaimed that one doesn't work for sure, and I don't know about the other one (which is the honest truth), and a guy responded to the ad a couple days after the post. I was excited about selling my Rock Band guitars because I could buy another PC game for 20 bucks...or perhaps save it up for something special. Then I realized...oh shit...he wants to meet at 6:30. Atlanta traffic is terrible around that time...especially on the highway...which is exactly where I was headed to.

No big deal, I'll just leave early...I thought to myself.

I left an hour early because I wasn't sure how long it was going to take. I spent about 5-10 minutes at the car taking the T-tops off because it was a beautiful day and if I was going to be in a little bit of traffic, I'd want to roll in style.

Before I read the stop light that will take me to the highway, I glance to my left and spot the traffic. I can hear my engine, and I notice a sound that seemed new. Thankfully the light was long because I pondered for about 30 seconds on what to do...and I went with my gut instinct. I wasn't comfortable, so I turned back around.

As I reached a stop light, I pulled out my cell phone and quickly texted the guy about canceling, but before I could hit send...he called and wanted to make sure everything was still up. I explained to him the situation, and he was fine with it...so we're possibly going to meet up this weekend (and I'll probably sell the guitars to him for 10 bucks instead....y' know, what the hell). The guy is nice, I didn't pay for one of them, one of them was broken, and I wasn't even sure if the other one worked either. So who knows...

But the main thing that I wanted to talk about was someone's entry that came up very recently:

 Paul_Partisan typed up an entry about how we shouldn't be smiling when there is no reason to smile because of the conflicts the world is going through.

I'm a bit of an optimist and found this entry not very well thought out, I guess. I understand his viewpoint and can completely agree with the fact that no matter how bad our lives get, it could always be worse. It really could. But the main reason that I smile isn't necessarily because I'm happy, it's because I've learned to appreciate my life...which in turn resulted in happiness.

When I watch horror movies like Wrong Turn 2 (which I saw just a couple hours ago), and any of the Saw movies, I wasn't horrified after watching them (in fact, Wrong Turn 2 was absolutely hilarious...I knew who was going to die since the beginning), but they've helped re-establish my belief that my life is great, regardless of what happens, and therefore I truly appreciate it. I'm thankful for not waking up with some kind of metal contraption that's only minutes away from decapitating me, or walking down some abandoned forest and having an axe thrown at my forehead by cannibalistic family members who just love to kill hormone raging teenagers. Some people view these movies as horror, but I view these movies as a message that "you think your life sucks? Yeah...okay". Being an optimist kind of helped me get out of my state of depression as a young teenager, and I think that in order to be truly happy, you have to appreciate your life and who you are because it could always be worse. Realistically, it could always be worse. We live in an imperfect world, but there's nothing wrong with smiling and appreciating your life. But there is something wrong when you think you're miserable and how the world is against you and all this depressing nonsense. Try living in Darfur or certain parts of Africa...that'll be a nice kick in the ass.

And that's what I think people do need....a nice kick in the ass. With my experience dealing with teenagers who are depressed, most people don't listen because they think they're always going to be miserable and they're self-centered. I used to feel like that when I was depressed, but now I think realistically. I started thinking realistically when my best friend threatened to beat me up by grabbing my shirt and screaming in my face. He made me cry, several times throughout the years in fact, but I've learned some valuable lessons about not barking up the wrong tree and such.

Anyways...I'm rambling. It's 4:32 AM, what can you expect?

But the final thing I would like to talk about is my computer. I think my computer is going down in the dumps. After long years of gaming, music, and...websites, I think my computer's days are finally coming to an end. I don't want them to, but that's what I feel. Firstly, my speakers are messing up, have been and will continue to be unless I find the root of the problem (if there's one), or buy new ones (which ain't gonna happen), and it over 10 tries to start my computer up fully (the screen wouldn't turn on...manual says that there's something loose in the computer). My last resort is to operate on the computer by *trying* to clean out all the dust that has accumulated in my computer over the years, and hopefully connect some wires back together and everything will be good as new.

I considered buying a laptop, but I'm running low on money and plan on using 1,000 dollars on strictly car insurance. I have 200 dollars of spending money, but that's for Forza 3 and gas. Hopefully that'll work out pretty good.

Anyways, I'm hungry and need to go to sleep before I become starved. G'night!

I really hate to say it, but I think that I have swine flu. Normally, I'd say JK right about now, but I don't think I'm not joking this time. Today was a miserable day for me because I was tired ever since I woke up. I didn't even feel rested, I felt like it was night time and I was about to go to sleep again. All throughout my classes, I had a runny nose, and I still have this feeling like I'm going to pass out or perhaps even throw up, but I'm probably no where close. I don't have a fever, but that's not technically a symptom of swine flu...just a possible indication of why you have swine flu symptoms. So I've been doing some research...not much, but I feel miserable. I took a three hour nap today, and I could of slept all day. I have no motivation to work on my homework tonight because I'm really having trouble concentrating on doing an entry.

I don't know what's gonna happen...but if I don't get better tomorrow, I'm gonna have to punch a pregnant woman in the stomach.

For some reason, I'm kind of sick. For the past two days I've been losing sleep. I get sleep, but I don't get enough. I was thankful to get sleep last night because it's unlikely for me to stay up for 48 hours -- for all I know, I could've been dead by now if I didn't get any sleep. Just playing

I have some homework to do tonight. It's not crucial that I do it, but it's important that I do the homework so I'll understand the material.

Tomorrow I plan on working on my persuasive speech all day tomorrow. Need to start cracking down.

That's all I have, sorry.

I don't know what happened, but I get cold easier these days. I don't know why. A couple years ago, I was standing outside in 35 degree weather wearing a short sleeve shirt and cargo pants. Now, I couldn't even bring myself to wear short pants. I looked in the closet for some long pants to wear and came across some jeans that I haven't worn in a very long time.

For those of you who don't know...I absolutely hate jeans. I hate jeans so much that I will go as long as I possibly can without wearing them. For one thing, the types of jeans don't really interest me because my jeans are "relaxed" fit...but there's nothing "relaxed" about them. They scrunch my balls up, they hug my ass, and they're tight around my thighs. 

...And jeans are always like that with me, so I just choose to not wear them.

But today was different. I stared at my jeans, and stared at my cargo pants and decided that maybe it's time to try something else for a day or two. After all, it's cold and jeans would go well with my nice shirt and leather jacket. It would make no difference to me whether I wear cargo pants or not, but I just figured that I need to show the world something new at least ONCE in a while because my dad makes a valid point that I don't want to become this guy that everyone knows as the guy who wears the same clothes everyday. That's the truth, really. I don't bother shopping because I find it extremely boring and a waste of my time, and I don't bother buying clothes online because I just don't like buying things that I can't try on before I buy. So I put myself in a situation where I basically have no choice but to wear the same clothes everyday. I have a week's supply of shirts, but that's exactly the problem. It doesn't matter which day I wear what shirt, I still wore that shirt last week.

But I decided to wear jeans because I wanted to do something differently today -- see if I could surprise a couple people, maybe get a compliment or two from people saying that I look good in jeans or something. Nah, it never happened. Ever since I got into my car, I realized that I made a big mistake wearing jeans. I was uncomfortable, my balls were scrunching up, and I only have 4 pockets that you can barely fit a pencil in. I can't stand carrying stuff in my hand that's not my books.

With my intelligence, I decided to sleep in an extra ten minutes (instead of waking up at 6:50 AM, I woke up at 7:00 AM...woo) -- not like it's a big deal because I didn't get any sleep last night, though I did have my eyes closed and tried to sleep. I wasn't lying when I told my dad "I know for a fact that I'm not going to get sleep tonight". You'd probably say the same thing if you woke up in the afternoon and had over 195 grams of sugar in coke alone. I was bouncing off the walls till at least 3:00 in the morning.

Sleeping in didn't do me much good except it just delayed my time. Getting my contacts in was a bitch because my eyes were still partially closed, it was really cold, and I honestly didn't feel like going to my first class. BUT I sucked it up and was out of the house by 7:35 only to witness my car windows tinted with morning frost from the cold weather. It took about 5-10 minutes for my car to warm up. I had my windshield wipers going trying to scrape off the frost, and finally when my defrost started to work...I started to finally see. I wasn't late...but I was on time. Usually I'm early. Even on Mondays and Wednesdays, when I have to wake up bright and early, I'm still 30 minutes early. The reason I get up is to avoid the traffic. I avoid it, but I end up having to wait 30 minutes for the last class to get out of the classroom so I can carry on with my day. I don't like waiting.

My first period was pretty decent because three people read my paper because I was the only one in that section that actually did their paper. They said my paper was good and that I only need to change a few things. So I'm assuming I did my paper correctly and I no longer have to really stress about it because what's another 10 minutes of corrections? It ain't no thing but a chicken wing.

As for tonight, I don't really have any homework...I should be doing SOMETHING with the time given, but I'm still tired...despite taking a nap earlier for an hour, which wasn't much of a nap because I didn't get any sleep and it was more like pretending to be asleep. Maybe I shouldn't try recording myself on my web cam of what I look like when I'm sleeping. Kind of makes me uncomfortable, but if I actually fall asleep...it's kind of informal watching yourself sleep. You might find something that you never knew about yourself. I didn't know I was much of a snorer, but apparently so (I've recorded myself a couple months ago but deleted the video).

So I'm just relaxing today. Really, I have an assignment due tomorrow in Public Speaking, but I already turned in my Topic Survey for my persuasive speech because it was already due on Thursday, but because class got canceled...she allowed an extra day to finish. I'm doing fantastic in that class.

I also heard from a math student that the midterm will basically replace our current grade in that class. If it's true, and I do REALLY good on my math midterm, I may have found myself making all A's and B's. Will it happen? I sure hope so! But I think I'm starting to get some of my act together because I realize what I'm doing wrong. Number one, I'm supposed to be reading the "Heirs" book in US History, my US History book that costs a lot of money and I gotta keep up with what we're supposed to read. I failed that last quiz with flying colors because a lot of the questions were from the book this time, and I didn't really know the answers. For math, I slacked off on my homework and payed less attention in class because it just bored the hell out of me. Today, I was regrettably feeling tired in that class and I tried fighting it -- should've saved my gum for the middle of the class, but I pulled through and took the necessary notes (hopefully). I'm doing great in Public Speaking because I get plenty of sleep on that day, it's in the afternoon, and it's a fun class. Ain't nothing to it. The only hard part is speaking in public, which the teacher says is the biggest fear people have compared to dieing. Geez, that's pretty bad.

Anyways, I'm rambling. Perhaps it's a good thing, though.

The last thing is that my dad took me (more like I took him and he payed for the food) to Buffalo Wings or some place, sports bar, and I had a half a stack of ribs and french fries. Eh...Chiles is a lot better. Of course, there were beautiful women. One was even dancing because the Falcons were winning. I don't blame her. It was kind of awkward cause my dad and I didn't really have a conversation, so it was kind of quiet. After I got my food, everything was a-okay.

Well, that concludes my long entry.

Life can be funny sometimes when you take a step outside the box and look in your life. After I had sex with Amy, not only was my mind clouded with depressing thoughts, but the sky contained dark clouds and it started to rain. Sometimes, you'd catch yourself in a sprinkle, or it'd be just bad enough where you'd consider driving to a parking lot because you can't see shit out the car window. For Georgia, that's very unlikely. When we usually want it to rain, it doesn't. When it does, it's inconvenient, it's annoying, and it doesn't last very long. But ever since I thought that I impregnated Amy, it's been raining. I considered it a bad omen -- I actually thought it was God telling me that I made a horrible mistake and that I was stupid. "I've learned my lesson...please don't let her be pregnant" I told God as I would pray to Him almost every night. I know that I needed more than statistics to cheer me up, I also needed hugs and words of encouragement, and I also needed a miracle. The rain was what convinced me that maybe I'm not going to be so lucky this time.

Instead of making me tired, the rain actually made me feel more depressed as I would drive my car too and from school with the windshield wipers going. What made matters worse was that my windows would actually fog up while I was driving, and I knew that if I was going to cut the defroster on, I was going to end up sweating because it wasn't cold outside the first part of the series of rain. I had no choice. It was either break a sweat, or it was crash into a vehicle.

At one point in time, I actually avoided an accident. Driving a tank is one thing, but driving a tank in the rain is another. When you're going around a large curve, you don't know what's on the other side -- unfortunately, someone was waiting to take a left turn into a neighborhood. I didn't exactly mash the breaks, but I decelerated at a fast pace and caused my wheels to actually lose friction. I thought I was going to rear end a vehicle, but I actually wasn't going to be as close as I thought. Still, when you're preparing to pay 600 dollars for an abortion, you don't want another bill on your tab when you know you can't afford any of it.

So, the rain has been really strange lately. If it keeps it up, maybe Georgia will get snow again...and maybe even lots of it. Knowing Georgia, we most likely won't. It doesn't matter what the precipitation is on the news, I almost always went to school, and it never snowed. The last time it really snowed was in 1994...which was a blizzard. Of course, I don't remember that.

Besides the rain, I'm kind of tired. I've got a hard essay to do this weekend, and I absolutely HAVE to finish by Wednesday. We're SUPPOSED to bring it our *complete* rough draft by Monday so we can receive a "check", but if I absolutely can't do it by Monday...I'm not going to sweat it. I've always turned in my essays on time, and I haven't received a bad grade in that class yet (strangely enough). After I do my essay, I'm going to start on my speech (which shouldn't take that long because there's only so much information on caffeine).

I might take a nap, or hell...I might even go to sleep and work on it all tomorrow. I haven't decided yet.

Today, my dad and I filled out an application to some small grocery store. My dad says we'll most likely get a call tomorrow, and my dad and I know that we really don't want to work there. I really don't want to work period. Staying focused on school is hard enough as it is. Having a job is just going to bring my grades down even further.

But we'll see what happens.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am now a premium member of Xanga. Yes...woohoo...congratulations....I'm so happy for you, yeah yeah yeah. Personally, I think it was a dumb decision because I don't really benefit from the advantages of premium. I just got a nice little "LIFE" badge that I spent some money to get. But I've wanted Premium for a long time now because I just wanted to save my entries in case Xanga was to go down in the dumps. 5 or so years of entries means a lot to me, because it's sort of a long time.

Anyways, besides that...I failed my US History quiz that I took today with flying colors. Got a 55. Perhaps the worst failing grade I've received in College yet. Not feeling too optimistic right now because I'm already failing my math class, I'm almost sure of it, and US History is next. How exciting.

But I'm not stressed about it because I've got essays and speeches to worry about. I gotta write a 2 1/2 to 3 page summary thingy essay in English, and then my persuasive speech. I'm not worried about the speech, because I'm doing my topic on caffeine. There's a lot of information on that, and I could easily go on for more than five minutes (speech has to be 5-7 minutes). I began thinking about it, and I received a 91 on my last speech. I didn't turn in my speech outline on time, so I really should of had 10% off. The max I should've earned was a 90, but I got a 91.something. I think that means I did exceptionally well. A bunch of other tests are coming up too, along with the fact that I have to read 336 pages by the first of November or something like that. Yeah. But my main concern is the essay because it's the first one due and I haven't even started on it. I just picked my topic today. So, yeah.

Ever since I found out that Amy is most likely not pregnant, I've been feeling really optimistic lately. In a little while, I'm actually going to be starting my math homework because I have a quiz in US History tomorrow and I really need to bust balls till the end of the semester because I know that my Math grade isn't so hot. I've had a lot of trouble in Math lately, and I'm sure it's because of my lack of organized note taking, my lack of paying attention in class, and my lack of actually doing the homework. The lack of homework is especially the reason why I'm probably failing Math because it's just not right having to study the day before a big test and self-teaching. I think it's amazing how I could have the motivation to spend 6 hours or so studying for math and still fail. I think it's just better to know the material, and use a study guide to make sure you know the material.

I don't have anything significant going on in my life right now, I'm still very happy with the information that Amy told me. I went to Borders today and had to buy a book for US History because we have a quiz (or test) on it sometime early in November. It's 336 pages or so, so I really need to start reading the material tonight. I know it's going to be super boring, but I need to read 10-15 pages a day as a starter.

Anyways, I need to get cracking on my math. If I have time during the night, I'll try and start on my essay that's due in six days. Doubt it, but you never know.

I was informed a couple days ago that the mistress that I thought I knocked up said that she was on her period, so you would expect me to drop to my knees and cry of happiness, but my paranoid ass didn't want to stop. I continued researching some stuff and came across implantation or whatever bleeding and I'm still unsure. She says it's her period, although I'm not quite sure if I'm off the hook considering the fact that there are women out there who still have periods when they're pregnant.

But for the most part, I did celebrate. It's a big step towards the truth, and it's highly likely that she's not actually pregnant. But shit happens, and I'm still expecting for something to go wrong. So is she pregnant? Most likely not. So yay for me!

...My life almost got fucked up BIG TIME.

But you know, what's weird is that for the first time...my best friend said "I love you, man". This is totally no homo, but I don't know why he said it but he said he was very happy that she's not pregnant. Maybe he actually was.

Anyways, I'm pretty much off the hook...but things are always subject to change. But everything is going okay. Yesterday was perhaps my best school day yet. I was attentive...on a Monday. Shit, in Math class...when I took notes, I actually used a pen and pencil to mark the important notes and stuff. I was on it like a cat on a yarn ball.